Lessons Learned

There is one thing I am learning through this fight against cancer; you cannot predict how you will feel day to day.  Usually after that first week of chemo I know I will be in bed most of the time and very week. The week after is better and I am able to do some things but in a limited amount of time. The third week is my good week just before my next chemo appointment.

That theory was blown out of the water this week. Yesterday I woke up sick spewing from both ends. I took my anti-nausea pill then ran to the bathroom to give it away. Needless to say I went back to bed and stayed there between trips to the bathroom. John gave me a bowl of rice for lunch then we both took a long nap. The weird thing was by dinner time I felt better and ate a nice meal.

I got up this morning feeling the same so I got a jump on this mess by taking my meds as soon as I got up.  John lectures me about being patient with myself. I have patience for everyone and everything but me. I know that has something to do with my past but I still get aggravated with myself regularly.

I was told early on by every doctor that I had the pleasure of talking with that I had a very dangerous form of cancer that was fast growing and deadly. (I thought all cancers were deadly) They followed up by the best treatment is to hit it early with chemo… a lot of chemo. Then the disclaimer; Chemo can cause severe health issue and even death.

Okay I understand that the treatment can be as bad as the cancer but we have come so far in cancer treatment. Medicine today is so different than it was 10 years ago.  Every day they learn something new that will be beneficial tomorrow. The nice people that work in the health care industry deal with these issues every day and learn something new all of the time. The nurses and techs in the infusion center always ask us about our symptoms and how we handle certain issues that plague us after chemo. They share with us what has worked for others. I am forever grateful to these people. I know their jobs can be tedious and heartbreaking at times.

I am told by so many people that they are amazed by my positive outlook. It has not always been there. I survived 2 suicide attempts. My daughter in law Elizabeth shoved a book in my hand after the second attempt that changed my life. I felt like life was hopeless. I was trapped in an abusive marriage and could not see the sunshine for the clouds. That little book was “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne.  After reading that book my life changed. I learned how to change my life by thinking only the good thoughts. Soon the Universe began to change and move things. Thanks to the Universe and God I now have a wonderful loving husband and a happy life. Yes I have this little hurdle named cancer to get over but that is okay because it happened for a reason and with it there will be lessons to learn, opportunities to explore and blessings to be grateful for. How else would I have ever been able to get new boobies and a fresh new head of hair?