Life is too short

I was having an extremely good day at work today because they had put me at the self check out which means I get to talk to everyone before they leave the store. They had brought a pallet of John Grisham and Stephen King books to display by the registers so every time someone would get a book I would ask them if they were going to read my book when it comes out. Several people asked the title of the book and after I told them that I was going to pressure the store manager into having a book signing they replied they would definitely get the book then.

Once lunch time rolled around I was sent to the Jewelry department to relieve the clerk there and while I was there I heard someone passed out at the registers. Once the clerk returned and I went to lunch I heard people talking about a nice guy that keeps the candy filled at the front check out. When I asked what had happened to Craig they were surprised I did not know. Not only had a new cashier passed out at the front check outs this morning but the candy clerk was at the new store helping set up when he began to feel bad. He went to the rest room where he had a heart attack and died. This nice fellow was only thirty eight years old. This is ten years younger than myself.

People this is why I am living my life the way that makes me happy NOW. We are all mortal and the only guarantee in life is we will die one day. None of us know our expiration date.
I have a huge heart filled with love and kindness and I try everyday to spread that love with kind words and good deeds. I am going to love live and laugh all I can because once my expiration date is up I have to start all over with no memory of what this life was. Once I am gone I want to be remembered as that extremely happy and bubbly woman that made everyone laugh and had nothing but kindness in her heart.

I will not dwell on negative thoughts.
I will not feel hatred or anger towards no one.
I will not associate with those that insist on being negative
I will not allow anyone to bring me down
BECAUSE
I am a bright shinning light
I am perfection in human form
I am happiness
I am an example of how living the Secret can make your life wonderful.

Live your life like everyday is the first day
Live your life with gusto
Take the time to love
Take the time laugh
Take the time to play
because it is your life and you only get out what you put in.
I am a shinning example.

The eight ball in the corner pocket

Last night my boys and their girls decided we needed a night out to unwind and celebrate my submitting my manuscript to the publisher and and my little chat with our future Governor Kinky . I rode with my son Justin and his girl Sheena while my son Josh and his wife Elizabeth picked up their friend Justin so there would be an even six. We all headed over to Barneys to play pool. I must say it was a blast. We played pairs and all of us had a great time. Elizabeth took her camera and took pictures but I haven't seen them yet. We call their friend little Justin because my son Justin is a big guy. Having a two Justin household can be difficult. He had just turned 22 on Friday so we were all trying to fix him up with different waitresses. I love my kids and I'm so glad that we have a great relationship. They love to tease me and unknowingly I have gave them ammunition with the whole Kinky Friedman thing so I was teased severely through out the night. That is okay I think it may be good for the skin to blush so much. I know the smiling and laughing makes me feel good. Here I am a 48 year old starting out her life and hanging out with a bunch of twenty somethings. What a life!

Who is your best friend?

Who is your best friend?

I have taken the time to look at my friends and acquaintances. They all vary in age and backgrounds. Some I talk to every day and others on rare occasions. Do you call those that you see rarely friends? I have a lot of online friends that I talk to nearly everyday and a few friends that live close by that I rarely talk to. There is something wrong with this picture. Is my life so busy that I don't have time for face to face interactions? I include my daughter, my sons, and their girls as my friends because I share my life with them, respect their opinion and enjoy the time spent with them.
If I had to pick just one to be my best friend I would have to say that my dog Mickey D is my best friend. I live my life for him but lately I have began to grow away from him a bit with work and the whole writing the great American novel thing. I have started going out and heading off in a different direction all together. It used to be that I would turn down opportunities because he could not come along. Now I strive to do new things and talk with new people leaving poor Mickey at home to cry for me in my absence. This breaks my heart to write about it because it makes me feel like I have a cold heart.
I think the whole thing is I am growing in a direction that I have not previously been and do not know how to incorporate my past life with my future. I admit I am thrilled that I have great things ahead of me and I am grateful for the past which has taught me many lessons. Maybe I am looking at this to analytically. Maybe Mickey will still be my best friend in this new adventure I call a life but he will no longer be my center. Needless to say Mickey I love ya bubba you have been my light in the darkness. I love you Mickey you have been the love that has seen me through. You are still my best friend and I live for you.

Thank you Kinky, Thank you very much!!

I had a surprising call last night from Kinky Friedman. He gave me permission to use his name in The Mystery of The Lady in the Mist. I enjoyed our conversation and congratulated him on his win in Vegas. He did forewarn me that the publishing business was a bit tricky so I am going into this with my eyes open. I submitted my manuscript this morning to Publish America and I continue to work on The Case of The Dead Husband which has taken another twist. My daughter Kikki and I had just talked earlier about heading over to one of his cigar event Friday for his Kinky Friedman Cigars. When he asked if I was going to pop by I replied yep.
See I told all you nay sayers that he was an upstanding guy. Besides you all know he is my Governor.

Thank you Kinky you’re the best.

Where am I headed?

Someone asked me a good question today. We were talking about the big changes I had made in my life in the past year and all that I had accomplished and what I was currently working on. The older couple was nice and amazed at what a person could do once they put their mind to it. The gentleman discussed introducing me to one of his friends in his early sixties when I said I love the older gentleman with their salt and pepper hair. I laughed and told him when I was ready for that step I would definitely let him know.
He told me I was just chicken and I really think he is right. Actully I think maybe I am afraid of getting into another relationship. We discussed the manuscript I had finished and the sequel that I was working on and he loved the intrigue in the Case of the Dead Husband and the ideas I had in the direction it would take. That was when he asked for my phone number so he could pass it on to his friend and I told him I was staring at Wal-Mart for the next few months so he could drop by and say hello there. That was when his wife asked me once I was a well known person how I would feel about being in the tabloids like Brittany Spears. I explained that I was not one to go to those extremes and besides I did not want to hurt my chances of running for Governor which really gave them something to talk about so I told them of my plans for Texas.
They were thrilled but then I had to burst their bubble by telling them no I wasn't running but I did feel the best man for the job was Kinky Friedman and suggested they vote for him in 2010. That was when they asked if I was working in his campaign and I laughed. I explained right now I would be happy just getting an answer out of the booger about The Mystery of the Lady in the Mist but I would definitely campaign for him I felt that strong about his capabilities. Once I was sure I had their votes we changed the subject back to my plans for the future.
Like I explained I wanted to move as far as I could away from the area so the soon to be ex could not make me feel sorry for him and pressure me to return. I asked if they knew of a woman looking for a man because I felt if I found him someone then maybe he would leave me alone. The wife said "Honey I don't think there is another woman alive that would have put up with him for as long as you did."
I agreed.
Talk turned back to their friend but soon changed when I mentioned my perfect man was intelligent, dressed like a Texan with the stetson and the cowboy boots, and sometimes wore overalls. The drinking and smoking thing did not bother me as long as he smoked a pipe or a cigar and not cigarettes. The wife said that suspiciously sounded like Kinky Friedman. I replied I have never seen him in overalls and laughed when I realized she was right. That was when I told her that Kinky was the Texas version of Hugh Hefner that he had women stashed all over the state and I doubted I was his type. She laughed and said if he is the Texas version of Hugh Hefner then any woman is his type. I did not agree on that one. I explained I just wrote fiction and any resemblance is accidentally on purpose. This gave them a good laugh.
I enjoyed the conversation with this couple and hated to part ways. She mentioned a nephew that lived somewhere west of San Antonio that was single and needed a good woman so she was going to go home and find his picture as they walked away. Shaking my head I walked over to my truck to unlock the door when they drove up and rolled the window down so they could comment on my taste in classic trucks and older men. My response was I like my men and trucks like I like my cheese and whiskey ....aged. As they were about to drive away they called out the window
"See ya later Governor"

Meeting couples like that makes my day so much brighter. I guess that is why I enjoy my job so much because you meet so many types of people and the conversations are such fun. When they return to the store then drop by your register to say hello or get in your line just to talk to you it makes life so wonderful.
I don't know where my life is headed but there is one thing I do know my future is bright and I have forward momentum going here. What is in the past will stay in the past because it has no place in the future. I have learned my life's lessons and I am ready to face the unknown that is ahead of me with open eyes and an eagerness that pulls me forward.
Let's just say that I am an intelligent woman with a great future and if there is a man out there that I am destined to be with then woooo whooo he better be prepared because I am on the way.

Cigar in hand

Cigar in hand
I sit here cigar in hand and my bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey by my side as I write this blog. One of Josh and Elizabeth's friends is here so they called me out of my room to join in on the fun. Justin (the friend) thinks it's funny that I don't allow smoking in my bedroom but I will smoke a cigar when I drink. Like I explained cigar smoke and pipe smoke have an aroma but a cigarette has a stench. They went to Ellite Cigars to surprise me with a KFC (Kinky Friedman Cigar) but they couldn't find one so they brought me a couple swisher sweets. After I lit one up and took a few puffs Elizabeth realized that cheap cigars burn faster than a good one. I told her that's okay I'll go to the next cigar event on Friday and get myself a couple Utopians to enjoy at our next bon fire. I love the sweetness left on my lips when I smoke a swisher sweet but I wish they would burn slower. We sit here drinking and talking about what ever as I take my shots and laugh at them with their mixed drinks. My favorite saying chasers are for pussies. I miss the fact that we did not work out tonight but I enjoy the time we spend drinking and hanging out together. The only problem is cigars seem to affect my libido.
Elizabeth came home with a hermit crab so now we are teasing her that she has crabs. Woo who Justin and Sheena has came out of their room so now we have a party of six to celebrate life with drink and smoke. Life is so good. I enjoy the times we spend together as a group of friends/family. Now it is time to log off and and party.

Non-Conformist Rule

Today was my daughter Kikki's baby shower so when we headed out to buy last minute items it was my son Justin's girlfriend Sheena driving, myself, my daughter in law Elizabeth, and of course Kikki. We stopped off at Wal-Mart to grab stuff for the veggie plate and as we walked in I looked at the four of us and laughed to my self. We were 48 and somewhat a red head, 28 and dark brown hair, 25 and blonde and a 20 year old raven haired. All of us have long hair and vary in size and coloration. I mentioned to Sheena that we made quite the group walking into Wal-Mart talking about booties and boobies. (Kikki's favorite subjects) Sheena laughed and commented that yeah there was something for every taste.

After grabbing our items we headed over to Kikki's mother in laws home for the shower. Once we arrived and sat down we chatted and had a great time discussing various subjects. Then we noticed that we had separated into two groups. There was the Five Oaks group which included the girls and I plus one of the neighbors in her late twenties then there was the Willow Oaks group that included the older ladies and the mother in law. That was when Kikki said that we were the non-conformist and the older group (which was about the same age as I am) the conformist. That bothered me a bit then I realized that maybe Kikki was right I do not conform to the standards expected of someone my age. I act and think much younger but this is because I spend so much time with people in their twenties. Is that a bad thing being able to relate with some one half your age? Is it a bad thing to feel and act much younger than the chronological age you are? I hope not because I am happy that I see the glass half full and I am glad that I can relate to younger people which means I have not forgotten what it was like to be that age. I do not have a problem relating to someone my age but I grow tired of their way of thinking sometimes. I feel you are only as old as you allow yourself to feel. If you want to feel like your old then that is your business but I want to enjoy my life all the way to the end so I do not think or act to a way that is limited to age. Please do not tell me I can not do something because I am too old because I feel that is too limiting and I have limited my life for too long and now I feel it is time to live, learn, laugh and love. I will not give up because the road ahead seems steep and rocky. I will not give up because it is hard and lonely. I will not give up because the world throws me a curve ball. I will just stand there and swing away until I hit a home run because that is what living is. Living is getting up and taking the world at it's best head on. Like I read in one of Kinky Friedman's books Living is spurring hard, hanging on tight and lettin' her buck. Dieing is simply letting go of the saddle horn. I plan on riding that pony called life no matter how hard she bucks and I'm not letting go of that saddle horn. Like I tell them at work when I am in a good mood and the rest of them are tired. Hey I'm here so deal with me. I have been asleep in my own life for far too long and now that I am awake look out world here I come!

Let's blame Justin

Last night while Elizabeth and I were getting dressed after our swim and shower she asked me about my new project The Case of The Dead Husband. I explained that I needed to find another case for Kinky and I to work on at the same time we were trying to prove my innocence but I was unsure how I was going to come up with more bodies. She then suggested that I kill her off and have my son Justin be the killer. Laughing I couldn't help but start inventing the scenario. He has an issue with her for some reason I have always chalked it up to they are almost the same age and they both have strong personalities that seem to clash. Then I thought no that would be a bit over the edge having my son kill her so maybe I can just have her disappear for awhile until Kinky and I find her. Then as I thought it through I thought maybe I can have a bunch of women in the area turn up missing. Now all I have to do is figure out how and why. Writing fiction can be so entertaining. I love the creative process and thrive for the interactions I put down on paper. I almost hate to go to work today because those hours I spend talking and flirting could be better used to write a few chapters. Oh well the pain of being responsible can bite you in the ass if you're not careful. I don't know after the way Justin berated me yesterday about being on my own computer so much kind of irked me. Maybe he would make a good killer.

front end alignment or a booty overhaul

Nights at the gym have became a habit for Elizabeth and I. We do our cardio and then crunches and the weight circuit or we just head to the ladies dressing room strip down and put on our bathing suits then hop in the pool to spend a half hour swimming laps. I like the idea that my arms are starting to firm up a little and my thighs are looking better but I still think I could use a front end alignment. Elizabeth said maybe we need to go to Firestone and ask them how much it would cost. I told her that they didn't do alignments on my model but we could both use a booty overhaul.
Then last night she made the comment that we looked almost the same with our clothes off. I didn't know if I should be proud that I looked like a twenty year old naked or if I should feel sorry for her looking like a forty eight year old naked. Then I thought maybe she was just being nice to me since I have had three kids and a major surgery all over twenty one years ago. I looked in the mirror then shrugged my shoulders.
We have realized that after swimming laps then relaxing in the hot tub for twenty minutes we are tired and ready to go home to sleep. We shower at the gym get dressed to come home and go to bed all of this between the hours of eleven pm and two am. The only part that kills me is the mornings I have to be up by four thirty or five to get to work on time. Let me just tell you that I definitely come home and take a nap on those days.

Texans Joke

I was waiting on Elizabeth to get home from work so we can head off to the gym and I decided to post this cute joke I found in my email as I was cleaning up old messages. I just thought it was fitting since I am a Texan.



THE TROUBLE WITH TEXANS…THE TROUBLE WITH

Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing problems... They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue sauce and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep; they are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their horses with them."

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello---hold on a minute." When he returns to the phone the Devil says, " O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you? " Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you re having down there with the Texans." The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back. Now what was the question?" Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on." This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I m sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those Texans have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."

It kicked our butts

With my daughter in law Elizabeth and I spending so much time together going to the fitness center nearly every night we have became a little closer. The last few times we have went we have opted to swim instead of the tread mill and bikes for our cardio. After swimming the first lap we realized that swimming is much harder than the bike and the weight circuit. Gasping for air and aching from the swim we laughed at one another then swam a few more laps. This has been an enjoyable time for us and we use it to discuss the wonders of the universe and ponder our futures. I believe that is why we have grown closer not the fact that we have seen each other naked several times now.
Tonight we choose to do the bikes once again since we will not be at the fitness center until midnight and I have to be home and in bed so I can get up at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am so I can shower and get dressed for work. Working 7am to 3pm is great other than the fact that I have to get up so early just to have enough time to prepare my lunch and check my email before my drive to Wal-Mart. Thank god I work 4-9 Thursday. Wednesday I have to rush home so I can take my daughter to her doctors visit at 4:30 pm but that is okay because this time they do an ultrasound so I will get to see whatshis name for the first time.
Yes I call the baby whathis name because they have still not agreed on the name. I told her it didn't matter to me what they called him I would still give him a nickname.
Well it's time for me to leave for the fitness center and huff and puff then do some crunches.

Not all is lost

One of our friends and neighbors lost everything but their lives last Thursday when their trailer home burned . Guy Dell and Janet have been living here about eleven years just a little shorter than our thirteen years. They have grown kids at home and two still in school. My son Josh and his wife Elizabeth used to share an apartment with their son Robert and had shared a rental trailer with Roberts brother Guy at one time. My daughter and son Justin are friends to all the kids and one of the step sons adopted one of the Boston Terrier rescues a couple years back. Janet and I have been neighborly and sat and enjoyed one another's company on several occasions but since I am not allowed to have friends neighbors are all we ever achieved.

Thursday when Josh and Kikki picked me up from work and brought me home as we turned the corner I mentioned that the fire was awfully close to the house then said it looks like the house was on fire. As we drew closer we saw the house was on fire. Poor Janet was screaming and falling on the ground as people were trying to get her away from the fire. We wondered where the fire department was considering the station was only two miles away. No sirens could be heard as we watched helplessly as their whole lives went up in smoke. Then the thought of Janet's little dog Ranger lept into my mind. As my daughter ask frantically where was Ranger no one answered. (It has been four days and still no Ranger.) Once the firetrucks arrived I asked Josh to drop me off at home because I could not take watching someones life go up in flames like that. As we drove down the street we watched as people walked toward the fire to witness the devastation for themselves. I just couldn't do it. The last few days Josh, Elizabeth Sheena and Justin have been calling and talking to local business and churches trying to get help for this poor family. They raised three thousand dollars in two days. The Dixon's still need a place to live but now they have some clothes but that is about it. The day after the fire they received a notice from the Harris County Health Department giving them fourteen days to clean up the mess the fire left. All I could think was how heartless could a person be to give someone a notice in less than two days of losing everything. They are lucky that they did not lose their lives. I still hold out hope for Ranger their elderly Maltese. I'm praying that if he didn't make it at least I hope his death was fast and painless.
This is one example of how no matter how bad you think you have it there is always someone in worse shape. Be thankful for what you have now because it doesn't take much to shatter your world no matter how secure you think it is. Be thankful for those in your life that you hold dear and tell them how important they are to you. Remember we are all mortal and our lives are only temporary. You better enjoy it while you can. Dance under the stars and give love to all those that you care for. Sing out with happiness because like in the Tarot cards there is always the Tower card that can end up in your reading telling of devastation and tragedy. Nothing in life is certain except death.

A little tease of The case of the Dead Husband

Okay here is a little tease of what I am working on in The Case of the Dead Husband. It starts where we are leaving a restaurant just after he arrives to help me get out of the new mess I'm in. Kinky gives some great advice. LOL
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I was so taken by the kindness of the manager and of this sweet cowboy that walked at my side. How in the world I was able to get myself in such a mess was beyond me but the fact that this man had traveled over three hundred miles to come help me had me flabbergasted. I know Kinky had a busy life with his cigar company and his writing and raising money to run the rescue ranch and everything else he did so I was shocked that he had came to help me. Glancing over I saw the worry in his face and it broke my heart.

Once we were seated in his car Kinky lit up a cigar and we sat there silently as he puffed away. I lay my head back on the seat and inhaled the wonderful scent of his cigar smoke. When those old familiar yearning started to come back I had to just push them back to that dark space where I hide my true feelings. I did not want to be the aggressor. With my eyes closed I sat there and enjoyed the closeness and the scent of the man that had captured my heart when he took me in and cared for me as if I were an old friend. I knew why I was so drawn to him it was because he was my hero and his intelligence and the things he had experienced through his life intrigued me. I just wanted to sit there and relive his life through his words and actions so I could feel just a pinch of the exciting life he had led. I had felt my life had been so ordinary compared to the adventures he had been through. Then I realized that I had lived the life I was supposed to live. I had to travel the roads that I traveled to bring me to this moment sitting here with this fascinating man. I had to endure the hurt and pain because those were the lessons I had to learn to be able to be the person I am supposed to be tomorrow. I knew we have the control to shape our destiny but it is our past that shapes us to be able to know how to handle our future. The weird thing of it was if I had a choice of changing any one thing I wouldn’t. I would still have traveled to San Antonio for that job thus putting my life in danger. I would have still endured that frightful night of running from a crazed madman through dark woods and down that rocky creek bed. I would have still chanced my life because if that had not happened then I would not have met Kinky Friedman. Of course then I would not have fallen for the man and I would not be sitting here questioning his feelings for me. That was the only part I did not like. I did not know how he felt but he did make a valid point as we sat there by the little lake. He had said love is not something you need to figure out you just have to let the feelings hold you and accept them for what they are. He was so right about that. I was too analytical when it came to something so simple you didn’t need to know a why or how you just had to know that it was what it was.
Glancing over I saw he was watching me again. I felt like I had gotten my hand caught in the cookie jar again so I smiled as a blush crept across my face.

“Cindy what are you thinking about over there? I can see those wheels just a spinning away in that head of yours.”

“Sorry Kinky I was just thinking about what you told me earlier about not trying to figure out if you were in love just to accept it for what it was.”

“Well I’m glad something I have said has sunk into that thick stubborn head of yours.”

“Kinky I have the utmost respect for you and believe it or not I do listen to you. It’s just that sometimes I don’t listen to the good advice I get because I feel I have to do what is in my heart. I know I should let my brain rule over my heart but I’m just the kind of woman that lets my heart rule.”

“Did you stay with your husband because you let your heart rule or was it your brain?”

“Oh tough question there Kinky, I don’t know I stayed because I thought that was what marriage was giving, taking, sacrificing and enduring. I stayed because I had made a promise and I thought that was what I was supposed to do.”

“Cindy marriage is giving and taking and sacrificing but it is based on love and happiness. The way you tell it you were not happy from day one. You sacrificed your life for something you believed in even though you knew it was not as you hoped.”

“Okay Kinky I was stupid to begin with. I tried okay doesn’t that account for something. I gave my all and it still failed don’t I get a pat on the back for trying. I guess there was a lesson there for me to learn or maybe I just had to travel that road to get me to this spot because I need to be here for some reason. Maybe my being accused of conspiracy has its reason maybe someone else will learn from this.”

“Cindy that is one way to look at it but you’re talking about losing your freedom and possibly your life for someone else to learn a lesson. Do you see yourself as a martyr?”

“No.”

“That’s what it sounds like. Here scoot over here closer to me Hon.”
Scooting over closer I couldn’t help but think about what he had just said. I didn’t think I was a martyr. He placed his arm across my shoulder and I lay my head against his chest. We sat there in his car in that empty parking lot as he smoked his cigar and I just sat there and enjoyed the closeness of this wonderful cowboy.
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Remember this is just a work of fiction. The character feelings do not necessarily reflect my own or his.

Ingenuity

I am proud of my sons they both know how to think out of the box. Today I was disappointed to have to work while my son Josh and my daughters man James worked on my precious truck. Since the 400big block that powers my baby and the transmission come from a 72 Ford Gran Torino parts are hard to find. Lately I have had a problem with the shifting linkage so getting her into gear is a hit and miss thing. We realized that the cable that runs from the shifter to the transmission is frayed and falling apart so after finding out that in order to fix this we need to order a cable and the cost and the time to wait to get the cable are out of the question my son and I made a trip to Ace Hardware where we rigged up a system using rods and bolts to make the linkage. Once I spent $44 on nuts bolts and what have you he assembled the system but still needed the bearings and bolts to attach the linkage to the transmission. Well of all things he did not use the bags of bolts and parts after all. This morning while I was busy at Wal-Mart playing Greeter my son Josh was at of all places a Lawnmower shop getting the parts he needed to fix my shifting problem. I must say I love his ingenuity. I am so proud of his mechanical ability and enjoy the fact that some of my fathers traits are evident in both my sons and my daughter. When he came to pick me up from work this evening I was glad to see that he had his pregnant sister with him for one but I was thrilled when I climbed into my Firecracker and started her up then shifted her into gear. Shifting has never been as smooth as what I felt as I pulled her out of the ditch and into my driveway. Thank you Josh and James for all the headaches you endured to make my Firecracker drivable. I love you both. It's great to have a mechanic in the family because I hate having to pay labor charges on something you can do yourself. I guess that is a trait I get from my dad. Like I have always said there is a way to do everything and a way around it. Think out of the box and you will find a solution. I just wish I could have been there to get my hands dirty and help. That's okay the new carburetor and oil pan gasket will be next.

Happy Birthday Daddy I miss you

Today would have been my fathers birthday he would have been 84. This is always a hard day for me because I was a daddy's girl up until he died on June 14Th 1989. My dad was a great man he served in the Army during WWII in the Philippines as a mobile generator operator. I used to love sitting by him on the swing or glider and listen to his stories of his time in the war. I remember sitting there at times as he puffed away on a cigar someone had given him from work when they had a child. I remembered him telling me stories of times when he was younger and he and his brother hunting wild rabbit. I never heard my father say a curse word and the only thing that sounded even close was bass ackwards.
He was the one that instilled the love of Fords in me. He was the one that had me help him make repairs to our vehicles. I remember my job was to clean up the parts that he placed in a huge tub. I would sit there bent over this tub with a coffee can of var-sol and a wire brush and scrub off all the old gunk ed up oil. There was no job that he didn't include me in from rebuilding an engine to putting on a water pump he made sure I learned how to do it all. Maybe that's why I have always been such a tomboy. I have two brothers but for some reason my dad and I spent a lot of time together. He was an intelligent gentle man and it was his intelligence that drove me to be so curious about life and all the possibilities that it possesses. He never talked down to me and he encouraged me to learn about everything that interested me.
The thing that saddens me is the disappointment I saw in his eyes when I had made a bad choice in life. He never berated me for my bad choices he would just give me that look of disappointment and tell me I could have made a better choice.
I remember on my wedding day the look of sadness in his eyes. He was upset in my choice of husband but he knew I had to live my life so as he walked me down the isle his heart ached. I remember pausing at the chapel door before entering the church and my father asking me if I was sure if this was what I wanted. I didn't tell him then what was truly in my heart . I didn't tell him that I felt trapped and obligated to marry this guy. I didn't tell him then no Daddy I don't want to get married. I just allowed him to walk me down the isle both of us hurting but not telling the other until years later.
I'm sure if he were alive today he would tell me how proud he is of me for the changes I have made in the last six months. I'm sure he would encourage me to follow my heart and do what makes me happy. I'm sure he would tell me no one can make you happy you have to find the happiness yourself. I have always sought out my fathers approval because to me that was greater than winning the Nobel Peace Prize.
Today I salute you Daddy and I love you for the great person that you were and for the great influence you had on me. I love you and Happy Birthday. I miss you daddy and I will always be your Keyloulou.

Mischevious Flirt

After very little sleep Saturday night I had to be at work early Sunday morning. Once I clocked in Norm the CSM put me on the self check line. Early Sunday mornings are very slow so I used that time to talk to every one that passed by. A fellow Wal-MArt associate that happened to be in orientation with me stopped by before getting off the overnight shift to chat with me.
"Hello Cindy Lou. Your the writer aren't you?"
"Yes I don't remember telling anyone that though."
"It's a small store."
"Okay well how was your day?"
"It was good."
"You just love this job don't you?"
"Yes I do I get to talk to a lot of people."
"You just stand up here and flirt."
"Okay I have been caught someone knows that I love my job because I get to flirt all day and get paid for it."
"I knew it well you have a good day and have fun flirting."
"Oh I will and have a great day and a good sleep."

As he walks off a nice fella comes over to ask me about the new store opening so I try not to flirt but find myself doing it anyway. Norm walks by shaking his head and laughing at me. I must be very obvious.

A couple hours later I am chatting with a customer and as he gets ready to leave he tells me not to work too hard. My answer to him oh this isn't work I love this place. He looks at me and laughs.
"What?"
"Your just full of mischief aren't you?"
"Who me I'm a virtual angel."
"You look like you could get into a lot of trouble."
"Oh Oh I guess I lost my halo."

This tells me that I need to slow my roll while I'm at work. I did not realize that I was such an obvious flirt. I guess It just comes natural and I don't realize what I'm doing. Heck I'm a Gemini that's just what we do.

But It's mine

With working a job, writing another story and all the excitement in life I have been one busy person. Elizabeth my daughter in law decided to join 24 Hour Fitness and signed me up right along with herself. I appreciate that because I need to firm up this sagging skin I have developed with the weight loss and age thing. We really enjoy going and I am sitting here now waiting for her to get home from her job so we can swim some laps tonight. The weather has been crazy. It feels weird to be wearing shorts in January but what the hey it's Texas. The first night we were there at midnight peddling away on the stationary bikes then I realized I had to be up at 4:30 am to get to work on time. It didn't matter I made it and worked a full day to come home to head off to the fitness center again.
I have needed the distraction of working out because once again there were fraudulent charges on my bank account. I had only had my new card for one week and had barely used it to pay the electric bill when I checked my bank account to see all my savings were gone. Now I have to wait until the bank investigates. This happened just before Christmas and I lost all the money I had planned to send to the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch as my Christmas donation. I'm still fighting over that loss. Now someone found a way to get my check card number and bought from some catalog called man alive. Hell I'd love a man alive to call my own but I don't think I'd order him from a catalog.
I had money put to the side so my daughter Kikki and I could go see Kinky Friedman at the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch Bonefit this coming Saturday but now it doesn't look like we will be going. The money I had started to save for filing the divorce was there so it's gone too. That's okay they will not get me down I will just start putting my money in my lock box instead of the bank until this all gets straightened out. I so wanted to talk to Kinky about The Lady in the Mist.
Last night Elizabeth and I stopped by Kroger after working out so I could say hi to Scott. Of course he was not working so I missed him again. Maybe that one is not meant to be because the last five times I have stopped by he has been gone. I will just have to find someone else to get my hugs from. The people that were there were glad to see me and encouraged me to come back tonight because he would definitely be there. Did I go? No I sat here and worked on my new book . I need to get the first one published and finish the second one because I see them as my bright hope for my future. I see them as what I need to gain my independence. Then this morning I realized that I should have sent Kinky a letter requesting a meeting with him while he was in the Houston area. Now it's too late he will never get the letter in time. Feeling a bit down after this realization my son Justin tried to show me the bright side. He offered "Mom maybe he isn't ready to talk to you yet maybe he isn't through reading it. I believe in karma and you deserve this break so it will come in time."
Justin no one reads that slow not even President Bush.
Now to keep from getting down I am off to the fitness center to huff and puff and lift some weights so I can build up some muscle so I can rope me a cowboy some day. Why do I need muscle for a cowboy? You know those saddles are heavy and I have to be able to throw a bale of hay in the back of my truck again. I miss being a cowgirl.

Writing again

Okay I'm writing again. I started the sequel to The Mystery of the Lady in The Mist that takes place in The Woodlands. Yes I know the first one hasn't hit the publisher yet but this one was burning up my mind so I started it actually I had already started it before I finished the first one so I had to make a few minor changes. The title to this one is The Case of the Dead Husband. To answer your question yep the husband bites the dust in this one. This was actually the first dream I had back in May. The dream that started the Lady in the Mist was months later. I have to take advantage of the creative force that is driving me to write. I have been faithfully at my keyboard for five hours so I thought a break to post a blog was called for. The problem is Kinky is also in this one. ;o
To quote my favorite author maybe I need a check up from the neck up. It doesn't matter he was in the dream so I want to keep it as close to the dream as I can get. This time I get to use my family members and some of my favorite people in my neighborhood. Then there are two other manuscripts just inside the recess of my mind featuring my favorite cowboy just waiting to be released. I have tried to replace him a couple times but they just don't work out as well as the Kinkster. It's all his fault you know that right. LOL

The Meaning of Rescue

The Meaning of Rescue

The Meaning of Rescue - Author Unknown

Now that I'm home, bathed, settled and fed.
All nicely tucked in my warm new bed,

I'd like to open my baggage, lest I forget,
There is so much to carry - So much to regret.

Hmmm... Yes, there it is, right on the top,
Let's unpack Loneliness, Heartache and Loss,
And there by my perch hides Fear and Shame.

As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave -
I still have to unpack my baggage called Pain.

I loved them, the others, the ones who left me,
But I wasn't good enough - for they didn't want me.

Will you add to my baggage? Will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things - And take me right
Back?

Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage, to never repack?

I pray that you do - I'm so tired you see,
But I do come with baggage - Will you still want me

Friends old, new and the ones to come.

Just before the new year my sister sent me an email telling me of an old friend wanting to get in touch with me. Verna worked with me at my first job when I was 15. We became friends hung out together then lost touch for a little while then got back together over a Pekingese thing then lost touch again. I have always enjoyed my friendship with Verna and I'm glad that we can now keep in touch again. Over the years I have made many good friends and lots of great friends but they seem to all move away or we just loose touch with one another. My keeper Tom is usually the blame for this because he has always felt friends get in the way of him being numero uno.
The past ten years or so most of my friends have been of the Internet type. We talk through emails and blogs or instant messaging. I enjoy these friendships because they are simple we encourage one another and share our lives via the Internet. Usually these friends have something in common with me and that is usually Boston Terriers or animal rescue.
That is the one thing that touches my heart the most, animals. I have been active in several rescues over the years and have rescued a few myself. I remember back in 1994 we drove to Rye Texas to rescue a sweet little female that had been pulled out of the Trinity river during a flood. We named her Trinity. She was covered with ant bites so once we loved her, healed her wounds and fattened her up we found her a forever home. If I had the money and the space I would do this a million times because it makes my heart sing knowing I helped a lost or abandoned animal that could not help itself.
Now back to the friends. I have had one friend in particular for the most part of ten years that lives down the street. Alice is a sweet heart and I love her like a sister. After many attempts of Tom trying to break up our friendship she is still there an unwavering friend just down the road that I rarely get to see. As I parked my truck at work the other day she pulled in behind me and said hey we were at the bank and saw you fly by. I laughed and said yeah I'm a little heavy on the foot sometimes. We chatted a bit and once she drove off I ran inside to clock in and do my job. I miss talking to her I need to make it a point to go down and visit more often.
I have many friends on the Internet and enjoy my conversations with them. Yes many live hundreds if not thousands of miles away but that does not stop the feeling of friendship. I Love them all. Some comment on my blogs regularly and some send me emails. I just want to let you know that my life would not be as rich if you weren't there. It's the friends that I make on Yahoo and Myspace that touch my life on a regular basis. I have been offered chances to meet some of theses people and met a couple of people from my Yahoo experiences that happened to live close to me. Then I have made friends through the Meetup group I started for the Boston Terriers. I enjoyed being a part of that and have considered starting it back up again now that I'm working and can afford the monthly fee now to get it going.
The thing is I just wanted to give praise to friendship no matter what form it comes in it is important to have friends in your life. I regret that I have let someone control me and my decisions in the past and I just want to say I want to make the best out of my life from this moment on. I will just end with this.
Welcome friends I'm so glad to hear from you.

Good advice for the New Year

Good advice for the New Year

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Begin

Today is the day to begin. This new year is a blank canvas upon which you have the delightful opportunity to paint.

As you do, be authentic. Your greatest accomplishments are the ones that contain the greatest quantity of you.

Be innovative and creative. The challenges you face will melt away when you apply fresh, original thinking to them.

Remember not to take yourself too seriously. You'll climb much higher when you're thoroughly enjoying the effort.

As you move forward, do so with genuine and persistent integrity. That way, the results you create will be results that are actually worth attaining.

Today you stand at the beginning of a grand adventure, with the very real and present opportunity to shape this year into the best one ever. Begin now, take the initiative, and never stop living life
according to who you know you are.

-- Ralph Marston