You got boobies!

Last night I went to the store for supplies for our New Years Eve bonfire tonight. Elizabeth drove Kikki and I in her Mini Cooper. I must admit it is interesting for a big girl to ride in the back seat of a Mini Cooper. I did not want to put Kikki with her pregnant butt in the back seat so I slid in and am still amazed at how comfortable it is to ride in the back seat of such a small car.
Once we arrived we were walking in and Kikki was commenting at how big her boobs had gotten. As she walked she had each breast cupped in her hands. I looked back to see this and couldn't help but laugh because that has been one of Kikki's favorite subjects as of late because she has always just had a hand full. Now her breast were sticking out of her top and were spilling out of her hands. We all laughed as I exclaimed "Oh my Gosh Kikki you've got boobies!"
We went into the store with her still cupping her breast. The two elderly greeters at Wal-Mart did not know what to say as a matter of fact they didn't even greet us. What a sight that must have been a young pregnant woman walking in holding her breast.
She continued on still talking about her boobies . I know she has told me that I had too much for one person but I have always been a big busted person from the time I was in sixth grade and it is not my fault. I told her I would gladly give her a cup or two. Elizabeth looked at the two of us and stated that we made her sick because we both had more than her and hers were the biggest they had ever been.
Thank goodness the subject changed after I placed my beer in my cart. As I looked down I thought it was quite funny that my cart contained beer, yogurt, pepper jack cheese, ham and chocolate covered espresso beans. I mentioned that it was funny how all I bought was alcohol, junk food and diet food.
Once we were through the line the conversation returned to Kikki and her boobs. She stated her man did not like them that big he said more than a hand full was too much. My reply was the same one I had given him around Thanksgiving time when he made that statement to me. "I'm sorry but that sounds like a little boys excuse for not being able to handle a mans job."
I added as a man once told me I'm boobielious. Kikki's reply "Mom your cute"
Sorry Kikki you missed it by a notch I'm damn adorable. (This never fails to get a laugh out of them)
Now I need to find her a shirt that says GOT BOOBIES?

Goodbye "07"

In a way I am glad to see an end to this year but then if I just go by the time that I have actually been in the mode I have been in for less than six months. Actually the first four months I did not even try then one day in May I woke up to realize that I was asleep in my own life. I realized I was no longer satisfied being the person I had become: a sad disillusioned woman in a dead relationship. This new year I will strive to meet all the goals I have set for myself no matter how hard I have to work beg and plead.
I am saving for that illusive divorce that will give me the freedom that I cherish.
I will move out of this nut house and into the big scary world all by my lonesome.
I will strive to get my manuscript accepted and published this is important because I have already started writing the squeal.
I will continue to better myself physically, mentally, emotionally and educationally.
I will better myself in my career taking it one step at a time until I am independent in my way of thinking and living.
The great thing is we will have another bonfire new years eve so tomorrow night I will be sitting by the fire with my Jameson Irish whiskey in one hand and my beer in the other puffing on the cigar that Elizabeth's boss sent me for Christmas. I hope it's a good one if not I have a couple Swisher Sweets to cleanse my pallet. I think I'll make me a pot of homemade chili to help keep me warm. I will try to forget that I am still in transition and welcome in the new year.
I want to wish you all a very safe and prosperous New Year.

How do you know your in love?

As I sit here and ponder what to write in my blog I am thinking what is one question I want answered. I am the type of person that likes to look things up and do research on different subjects just so I know the answer. Of all the possibilities of things to research there is one that I bet you will never find a definite answer to. How do you know your in love? Maybe I am just so inexperienced in this department I am destined to be in the special class for this subject. Hell I don't know, I think I was in love with my first. My whole life revolved around this guy and I sat at his feet. There was nothing I mean nothing I would not have done for this man. Was that love?
I remember looking into his eyes and growing week in the knees. I remember the kisses and how I wished they would never end. By the way did I mention I was nineteen at the time and he was seven years older so maybe this was not love maybe it was just being young.
After his death I gave up on love and until recently I had been fine with out it but for some reason now I want that special feeling in my life again.
There is love now but not the love that is shared between two lovers. I love my children, I love my mother, my sister, my brothers and I love my pets. What if the love we feel for our family is the only love that really exist and the love we feel for our significant other if we are lucky enough to have one is not love at all?
What is love, is it a feeling or a way of being?
Why do we make such a big deal of it?
Why does it hurt?
As I was driving home tonight I listened to a sad song on the radio by a group called Sugarland. The woman was singing about her lover and how he was always leaving her for his wife when she called. If was sad and soulful as she sang

why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
I'm begging you please
baby why don't you stay

Is that how you know your in love that you will beg the other person to stay?
I'm sorry I do not want anyone that I have to beg to stay with me. I want to be with someone that wants to be with me. There is such a thing as free will.

That's another thing why do people want to hold on to someone that doesn't want to be with them. You can't hold on to a heart that does not belong to you. I am in that situation now. I just want my freedom but he is holding on telling me he will never let me go. For god sake man you can't hold someone that doesn't want to be held. If he truly cared about me he would see that holding me only kills me a little each day. That's exactly why I am moving far far away. Okay I didn't want to get on that subject so back to how do you know your in love.

Then there is another song that I remember that says that she was leaving her man because she didn't want a love she could live with she wants a love she can't live without. Maybe she is not thinking so much about love but more about passion. There is another question does passion automatically come with love?

Damn the more I write the more confused I get.

All I know is I want that special person in my life that I can tell my secrets to and share my hopes and dreams. I want that person that I rush home to because I can't stand to be away longer than necessary. The person that I snuggle with on cold nights and laugh with when I tell him a funny joke. Shit I just described my dog.
It would be nice if he talked too and had a lot of interesting things to talk about.

Okay that's it I better quit while I'm ahead because now I'm really confused and wonder if I will ever be in love.

I must apologize

If I have done anything or said anything to you in the past that has brought you pain I apologize.

If you have felt slighted by my actions I apologize.

If my words have cut through your heart and given you grief I apologize.

If I have treated you in a way that is disrespectful I apologize.

I just want you to know that I have never intended to hurt you in any way. Please accept my apology and lets move on with our lives whether it be together or apart. I believe in karma and the golden rule so I want to make sure my slate is clean and I have apologized for any slight I have inadvertently caused by my words or actions. I truly love and respect everyone that I meet. I love our earth and feel that the creator is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient.
I want the rest of my life to mean something to me and those that I love. I want to be a shinning example of how all people should be. I will not hate, I will not hurt and I will not harm anyone or anything.

I love life and know my future is as bright as the stars. I believe in free will so I will not try to force my wishes or beliefs on anyone.

All I ask in return is a chance to fulfill my destiny and a chance to love openly and freely without having to worry about what others think. I am love and I am loved so I want to share love.

I have found the happiness that lives within me and now want to find the happiness that lives in the world without.

I promise to be supportive to all that touch my life and to be understanding of their nature. I accept everyone for the unique person that they are and I will not try to change them for they are perfect just the way they are just as I am perfect.

I am perfection in human form.

I will use my words to uplift and encourage.

I will use my arms to hold those I love

I will use my hands to do good works

I will use my heart to share love.

I will use my voice to share my philosophy only when asked.

Please join me in asking for forgiveness from your fellow man and lets begin the new year early by turning over a new leaf and sharing love and forgiveness with the universe. Help us to have a better world in which to live.

That which you put out returns to you.

I love you
Cindy

A beautifaul woman

The other day a beautiful woman came through my line and I was taken by her grace and beauty. Her silver hair was beautiful and the pretty red sweater she wore gave her the look of an angel. I told her how beautiful she looked and she smiled and thanked me. As I scanned her toiletries and small bottles of lotions that she was buying for stocking stuffers we chatted a bit. I enjoy talking to seniors because they are the seeds of the past and without them we would be lost. When she paid for her purchase with a check I learned that not only was she a beautiful woman but she also had an unusually beautiful name. Dardanella, I had never heard that name before so I had to inquire about it. Her mother named her after a blues album The Dardanella Blues and she admitted to only hearing that name one other time in her lifetime. I was so taken by this wonderful woman I told her that I was a writer and would be honored if she would allow me to use her name for the heroine in one of my next projects. She laughed and said as long as you make me interesting. I smiled as I watched her walk away with the aid of her cute little red walker. I never tire of meeting new people and I enjoy the small amount of time I get to talk away with them. Thank you Dardanella for coming through and enlightening me with conversation.

Tonight is Christmas Eve so we plan on having a bonfire. I'm looking forward to this because there is nothing as warm and cozy as sitting in front of a fire in the outdoors. I'll be sitting there after work with my Irish whiskey in one hand and my beer in the other. Wooo Whoo I'll be feeling warm and fuzzy tonight.
Merry Christmas to everyone and tell the elves free massages after midnight.

work work work

With Christmas just around the bend I have been putting in the hours at Wal-Mart. I am amazed at how so many people wait until the last minute to do their shopping. I of course am in such a great mood all the time I have been able to cheer all the frazzled nerves that come through. When some one says this is it I'm done I make sure I say Wooo Whoo for them and that usually cracks them up.
Yesterday I had a great surprise from a very sweet customer. I usually have my share of nice people that come through and say nice things to me but the nice gentleman that came through yesterday blew me away. He started off by commenting on my name saying you don't see Cindy Lou anymore. I replied yep I guess I am one of the remaining few if not the last. I expected a crack about The Grinch that Stole Christmas but he said I like that name Cindy Lou it's reminiscent of the Buddy Holly era. I was surprised and said wow most people don't know about Peggy Sue actually being written for a Cindy Lou. He replied well now I'm showing my age. I laughed and said we both are. The as he stood there and gave me a long look he began to sing to me. He sang Peggy Sue using Cindy Lou as it was originally written. I was so taken by this gesture I was unsure of what I should do so I just stood there and smiled at the sweet man. One of the other cashiers was commenting wow your being serenaded. He said I guess I just made a fool of myself . My reply oh no I enjoyed that thoroughly you have such a great singing voice. Thank you so much you just gave me the nicest gift anyone has ever given me. He left with a sweet smile plastered on his face and I grinned through the rest of the day. I don't care how many people come through my line I will never forget that sweet gesture from that sweet man.

Mater my shinning star

Since I spent my day off yesterday just spoiling my BT Trio nothing much else was accomplished here on the home front. I had planned on making a cake the same one I have planned on making since Thanksgiving but the ingredients are still assembled in the refrigerator and no Sock it to me cake to be seen. I have had a craving for a slice of the cake but not strong enough to get me in the kitchen to mix it and bake it. That seems to be weird because I am such a baker especially during the holiday season. The neighbors have come to expect my homemade cinnamon rolls each year about this time and my kids are used to finding all sorts of bake goods and praline candies freshly made. Maybe it is the fact that I am working and I have made drastic changes in my life.
As I sat there playing with my new addition Mater and his brother Noodle I remembered Domino when he was that age and my wish to train him to be a companion animal so I could take him to Nursing Homes and Hospitals to spread his love. That was when I realized that I had never really acted upon that desire. Mater is a cute little guy with green eyes which is a rarity in the Boston Terrier breed. My goal for him is to research what training is needed for this little 10 week old puppy to get him his credentials so that he can be the shinning star that lifts the spirit of the sick, disabled and the forgotten. If you have any information that may be helpful in my goal for this little guy please let me know.

Missed Photo ops

Driving to work yesterday I was ready to kick my self for not carrying my camera with me. There was a frost on the ground and I passed up such beautiful pictures as I drove. The first scene was the Hildebrant hay field just up the street. It was covered with the white frost and it looked beautiful. Then as I headed down Gosling and crossed Willow Creek I was hit with another great picture of both banks covered with frost and a couple of deer standing there watching traffic as it went by. The sight that caught my breath the most was the new Brick wall marking the entrance to the Woodlands at Creek side Village just before you cross over into Montgomery County at Spring Creek. The statues of the deer bounding through the high grass was breath taking with the frost covering the high grass. I mumbled to myself at my disappointment in missing such great pictures to ad to my portfolio. The last sight I saw that would have been a great picture was just before I crossed over Lake Woodlands there at the edge of the Golf Course there was a gathering of about fifteen buzzards. I would have called that The Gathering. I need to start taking my camera with me so I can catch theses pictures when I can.

Since this was my day off I took out my camera equipment only to realize that my batteries were dead in my Canon EOS Digital. Then when I came into the living room to turn on the computer I looked over at my Canon Powershot. All I could think was what a waste I have such great camera equipment and I don't take the time to use it. Tomorrow I will get up early and hopefully I will be able to drive around and find the shots I'm looking for. I enjoy my writing but I need to get back out into the outdoors that I love and start snapping those shots that will help me build my portfolio. I have also made a decision that will make Elizabeth my daughter-in-law happy. I keep saying I am moving far away this summer but if my plans fail and I am here in the fall I am returning to college to take a few classes hopefully toward my degree in Graphic Arts if not the old Journalism one I was working on before.

I still have a strong feeling that I will be gone from here by the summer but it is nice to have a back up plan. I just find it sad that in order for me to have the peace in my life that I want I have to move far away from Tommy to get it. Then all I need is a place to live that I can afford and a job that pays enough to support my BT trio and myself. That is not too much to ask for. I just want to put hundreds of miles between us so he can't bother me any longer just as long as I stay in Texas that's all that really matters. I know my kids are mad at me for wanting to move far away but they are all adults and they do have their own lives. Once they see that we can still be close no matter how great the distance they will be okay.

It is my turn to live my life for me and no Tommy it's never too late. I may be 48 years old but I have a heart that still beating and lungs that still breathe so as long as I'm upright and motivated I have plenty of time to live my life. The great thing is I have a lot to offer this world so get outta my way man and let me go. I have a lot to make up for.

Not sure how to take it.

I had an interesting conversation with a nice gentleman today as I worked. I should have known it was going to be a memorable conversation from the get go. It went like this.
Customer starts unloading his cart.
Are you open?

Yes sir just waiting for you.

Great don't go over five dollars.

Scanned first item 4.98...."OOps I'm sorry I just went over $5.

Oh oh now you did it your in trouble just wait until I get up there.

Laughing and shaking my head. (Thinking this guy is a hoot)

He approaches the register.

"How are you today?" I ask as I do with nearly everyone that comes through my line.

"I great how about you?"

"Oh I'm wonderful"

"Yes I know that I believe I read that somewhere."

"Okay that's good to know so where did you read it?"

"I believe it was on the men's room wall somewhere in Paris. Hum I think it was the Eiffel Tower."

"Wow that's a good one I've never been out of Texas."

"You know good news travels the fastest and you are wonderful"

"Wow I'm famous"

"Yes and your fabulous. Now what am I going to do about you going over $5?"

"Heck if I know, maybe Wal-Mart should give me commission."

"Cindy Lou wow did you know you're my second favorite red head?"

"No I didn't even know I was a red head."

"Cindy Lou"

"Man I love this Wal-Mart and the friendly customers that come through here. Did you know that it's people like you that make this job so great?"

"Thank you Cindy and you have a wonderful day and Merry Christmas."

"Oh I will have a great day I always do and Merry Christmas to you."

The nice man left leaving me with a great smile actually I already had the smile it was just a little bigger. The next lady in line smiled and said keep up that attitude it will take you a long way in life your a joy to be around.
What can I say I love the store I work in and the nice people that come through.

Memory of a love that isn't there

This is an exert from one of my dreams that I had written in my little notebook. I can't post all of it because it gets really racy after this. hehehe

Memory of a Love that isn't There

I remember the embrace at first tender and innocent. The feel of his body against mine was sweet and divine. I remember the scent that was just him as I inhaled deeply in reaction to his closeness. I could feel my heartbeat quicken to the excitement of his gentle hands slowly rubbing my back as he held me in his arms. I pressed closer to his warm body trying to feel each part as he held me in that embrace. Then I remember the warmth that started at my center the slowly radiated outward throughout my body taking control. I remember cherishing the feel of my nerve endings awaking to his touch as my breathing quickened. Then as his arms slowly relaxed and we moved apart slightly I remember wishing for him to pull me in again so I could feel him against me. Then he just looked at me. At first he gazed at my hair then my face as if he were taking in every part of me. He gazed into my eyes pulling me into the depths of his dark brown eyes. I dared not to move or break the gaze thus ending this moment that seemed to be pulling my mind and soul into his. He gazed at my nose then focused on my mouth. I watched his face as he took in each feature of my face. I in turn took in each of his. His eyes so dark and warm set into his handsome face searching for something in me but I wasn't sure what. His nose so straight and that mustache that sat just above his upper lip trimmed to perfection so sweet sitting there moving slowly as his upper lip slid slowly over his bottom lip capturing that little bit of hair that grew just below. The slow mesmerizing way he slid his upper lip over that bottom lip caused a quiver of excitement to roll through my body. Then he gazed into my eyes again watching me observe the little habit of capturing the bottom lip. A slow easy smile broke out across those lips and my heart skipped a beat. As if unspoken words of my pleading were heard he slowly lowered his mouth onto mine. The tenderness of his lips on mine sliding across took my breath parting my lips. Then his warm soft lips tenderly took first my top lip and then the bottom. His tongue slowly covered each lip teasing as it tasted my mouth then slowly worked its way inside. His mouth pressed against mine his tongue touching and caressing each inch of my mouth was so intoxicating. My pulse quickened and little orgasmic spasms started at my core and radiated out. His kiss deepened and I could feel him pull me closer as he probed my mouth. I reveled in his taste and the ecstasy his mouth and tongue were giving me. Finally I returned his kiss with softness then passion tasting him enjoying the feel of his tongue against mine. I had to control myself though because I wanted to quicken the pace to keep up with my racing heart. I didn't want him to stop. The tenderness turned into a deeper more demanding kiss that made my mind spin and my knees weaken. This man was devouring my mouth and I was eager for him to keep me close and continue sending these spasms throughout my body. Then he slid his mouth off mine and tasted my chin slowly dragging his mouth across my jaw line and on to my neck just below my ears. Immediately a quiver rushed throughout my body and a sigh escaped my mouth from somewhere deep down inside me. He kissed, nibbled and licked a small line down the tenderness of my neck. The ecstasy was more than I could handle. The sensation he was creating was about to drive me over the edge. I whispered his name as the sensation his mouth was creating sent me over the edge. I wanted more I wanted him to keep doing what he was doing because my body ached to feel his hands and mouth. He slowly pulled away looking into my face again. His lips swollen from the kiss looked so inviting. I wanted to taste them again and feel the sensation they caused. His dark eyes seemed even darker yet there was a sparkle that wasn't there before. Was that sparkle desire? I could only hope. Then he broke our gaze slowly looking around us and our surroundings. I watched mesmerized as his top lip captured that bottom lip again this time his teeth raked through that little tuft of hair sending more spasms through my body. He looked back at me then whispered “Let’s get out of here.” Excitement ran throughout my body giving my tingling limbs momentum to move forward as he led me inside away from the crowd of people.

Is Horny Goat a vitamin or mineral?

Today I was off so my son Justin and I had a mother and son outing. He wanted to get a Sam's card so we headed over to Portifino which is a shopping center in the Woodlands that has a Sam's Club. As I pulled into the parking lot he suggested we stop off at the Vitamin Store so he could get some information on B-12 because he lacked energy. I told him to get the subliminal stuff because the body absorbs it faster so it works better. Once we were inside the clerk told him the same thing I had and led us over to the area where the B-12 was. He was shocked at the price but I explained you pay more for the good stuff. Then I asked about the antioxidants so she led us over to that section. As I was looking at the various bottles and trying to figure out if I even wanted to purchase the stuff my son asked about red and green algae. Thinking that he could just go down and lick a rock at the creek I didn't say anything but turned around to see that he and the nice clerk were gone. That was when I noticed a row of bottles that was labeled Horny Goat. I started to laugh at the name on the bottle then noticed on the shelf below there was a bottle of Horny Toad. I'm sorry but I found that equally funny. Picking up a bottle of the Horny Toad I read the back to learn that it was something to help men in the sexual department. My son walked back over and saw me laughing then took the bottle away from me and placed it back on the shelf.
"Mom you don't need a man they are nothing but a distraction and you have been doing so well."
"I was just reading the bottle Justin I thought it was funny."
"Mom!"
Then my son pointed out a bottle labeled Sexcite.
"That's a good name for it."
"Come on Mom lets look at the algae."
"Just go down to the creek and lick a rock."
"No mom there was something I watched on that show Dirty Jobs about how they made the stuff and it is supposed to be good for you."
We walked over to the algae area and a nice lady I guess closer to my age asked him what he was looking for so he explained to her the process they went through to make the stuff. She asked him to find out what the name of the product was or the company and she could help him find the stuff he wanted. Then she asked me if I had found what I was looking for so we began to discuss antioxidants. The next thing I knew I had spent $35 on a bottle of antioxidants, fish oil and some kind of protein water. I was told since I had lost weight and walked around constantly pulling up my pants that I needed more protein in my system. My son replied just get a boyfriend I'm sure you will get some protein. I laughed and reminded him that he had just said men were a distraction I didn't need and I didn't want to buy a bottle of horny anything. I don't think the nice lady knew what he meant about getting protein from a boyfriend so she did not get the joke.
Later that night I rode along with he and his girl Sheena to go shopping. I was telling Sheena about the bottles of Horny Goat and Horny Toad. I wondered out loud what would you call a product like that for women something to put them in the mood. Just as I was about to mention slinky kitty or something when Justin blurts out Wet Walrus. We all laughed but I explained I don't think a walrus would make a man think about sex.

Religion my opinion Take it or Leave it

There are three things that I hate to discuss in public the first of which is religion followed closely by sex and politics. With this being a season of religious holidays it is so in your face at this time. Today as I bid the customers a good day as they left my line I wished them a joyous holiday season or Merry Christmas to the ones that wished me a Merry Christmas. With the P.C .driven society today it is hard to know what to say to whom. I myself am not a religious type person because I do not believe in organized religion. I have spent most of my life following one religion or another until I decided to study the subject of religion. I say that I am not religious but I do believe in a higher power so I am what I call a spiritual person. I find it hard to follow a belief system that has set forth rules to live by when there is just one simple rule that should be followed by all; The Golden Rule.
When I was a young girl at the impressionable age of 8 my brother convinced my mother to let me go to church with him. The church was a little Methodist Church down the road. I remember either walking to Sunday school or walking home because my father worked shift work so we did not have a way there when he was at work. That is where I received my first bible which I still own and I was introduced to the Golden Rule. I learned stories from the bible and other tales that are still a part of my thought process today.
My mother was and still claims to be of the Pentecostal persuasion. I remember going to church with my Grandmother (maternal) and the people scaring me half to death with their over zealous display of religion. I remember crying begging my mother to not make me attend again especially after one zealot shoved me back and proclaimed that I must be saved as he tapped me on my forehead and screamed in the name of Jeeessssuuuuusss.
After seeing elderly couples being wheeled in or creeping in on walkers and canes then watching them jump up and dance around as the preacher screamed his sermon I was afraid that the people were possessed but by what I was unsure.
I was happy attending Sunday School, singing in the choir and later attending teen night at Reid Memorial Methodist Church where the people were loving and talked to you in a soft tone. I never questioned what I was told as a child and was what my kids would have called a goody two shoes because I never talked back to my parents , I respected authority and I firmly believed everything my parents told me. Maybe I was just brainwashed at an earl age.
As I approach 50 I see how children behave in public. I watch as parents try to make deals with their children and plead with them or reason with them to get the child to do the simplest task. I never questioned my parents when they gave me an order I complied. I never plead or reasoned with my children because as I was raised they were raised to listen and follow orders from the adults that were in charge. I have watched friends children whom were raised in church challenge their parents and authority. What happened to following rules because they are rules and they are to be followed? I can understand as an adult having questions about laws and rules but children should be taught to follow rules period. This is when they learn right from wrong and develop their morals that take them through their life.
I have been a member of several churches throughout my adult life and I have even been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints or more better known as Mormons. No I do not know Donny and Marie and yes the church does believe that Jesus was our saviour and he died for our sins so that we may be forgiven and go to heaven when we die. I do not understand why people ask me if Mormons believe in Jesus. Why in the world would the church be called the church of Jesus Christ if they did not believe in him.
That is another reason I believe organized religion hurts us. Each religion feels that their way is the right way each denomination feels they are right. For Pete's sake you all have the same God just because there isn't a cross out side the Mormon churches doesn't mean they don't believe in Christ. They just choose to remember the living Christ and not dwell on his death and Resurrection. All religions have a similar belief system and like it or not they all have Pagan roots.
The one thing I enjoyed as a child going to Vacation Bible School was the year that we learned about other religions and visited the Jewish Community Center to learn about Judaism. I was intrigued and loved seeing the Jewish Temple and the scrolls or what ever they were called. Hey that was nearly 40 years ago not every thing I learned stuck.
Okay now that I am fully up on my soap box maybe I should conclude this sermon with the one thing that I learned as a child that has formed me as the respectful, caring, responsible adult that I have became. (I did not say I was perfect I am just an open minded individual)
The Golden Rule; Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or what ever your belief may your December be one filled with the warmth of love and the Joy of Life.

Bush's message from Osama

Okay I just had to post this joke because it made me laugh even before I made it to the second paragraph.

Osama Letter
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice . Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad. Eventually they asked Australian Intelligence (ASIO) for help. Within a minute, ASIO emailed the White House with this reply: "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Merry Christmas to me!

Today was my day off from work but I still spent the day working. After sleeping in until the late hour of 9am I jumped out of bed to greet the day. This just pissed Mickey off because he thought momma was going to lay in bed all day with him. He gently stood up in the bed then groaned before jumping down and slowly walking outside to do his business. Once I was in the shower I heard the shower curtain open up so when I looked over I noticed Meatball peeking in the shower at me. After I gave him a pat on his head with my wet hand he took off to find someone else to bother. It was tough figuring out what to wear considering I only have four pair of pants that actually fit me and three of them I have to start wearing a belt because they slide off if I'm not careful. I am so grateful for the weight loss. Once I decided to wear my black jeans with the little pink heart and my little dough boy tee that states love me squeeze me take me home I was dressed and ready to go. I ripped the sheets and cover off the bed then threw them in the washer. I felt a funny tingling on my thigh to only realize that Kikki was calling me so I pulled out my cell phone to answer.
"Jello"
"Hey mom are you dressed yet?"
"Yep, so why don't you come on over?"
"Okay I'll be there in a minute are you ready to go?"
OH crap I forgot I was taking her shopping today. "Yep I'm ready just let me check my email first."
"Okay I'm on the way. Bye I love you."
I love ya too Kikki see ya in a few"

Once I put the phone away and went to boot up the computer Josh and Elizabeth came in asking what I had planned for the day. Josh was working on a small storefront up the road and said he could use some help sanding the walls they had just taped and floated. Sorry Josh but I'm taking Kikki shopping.

Once Kikki walks in we are off to the dollar store to get bowls for the pups and then Wal-Mart. Kikki is telling me about reading the mystery I just wrote and the parts that she likes. Since she is the only other person that has read any of Kinky Friedman's books I listen as she tells me that she enjoyed certain parts. I admit it was hard writing his part but I just didn't see the story working without him.
"Mom you have written other stuff and this is the best so far. Why don't you just submit one of the other books to that online publisher until you get permission for this one?"
Because you are only allowed to submit once every six months or so and I like the Mystery of the Lady in the Mist better than Betrayed."
"Mom your just stubborn"
"Damn Straight"
Then I run into an ex coworker from Kroger and she is excited to see me. We chat and she ask if I'm still stuck with the abusive asshole. I laugh because everyone calls my husband that for some reason.(Believe me I know why) I explain that I am moving out soon I'm just saving up and I will get my first full paycheck from Wal-Mart on Thursday. She ask what I'm doing for Christmas and I reply nothing but I'm giving myself the greatest gift ever.
She ask "Oh what is that?"
"I'm calling an attorney and filing for a divorce. I found one that has a payment plan."
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!

Smoke em if you got em

I must say I'm not a smoker myself but I love the aroma of a good cigar or pipe tobacco. For some reason the CSM has placed me on the express checkout for the last few days which is the only place in Wal-Mart that you can buy tobacco. I have thoroughly pissed off a couple of people when I ask for an I.D. because I can't tell if they look over 40 or not. I just follow the rules I don't make them.
Today I ended up in a discussion with a nice lady about the terrible smell of cigarettes. She did not agree with me on the aroma of pipe tobacco and cigars but I explained maybe she was smelling cheap cigars. I explained to her that my love for the aroma of a pipe or good cigar came from the fact that my grandfather smoked a pipe and a cigar plus the only thing I had ever seen my father smoke was a cigar someone had given him in celebration to the birth of a child plus he smoked these while we sat on the swing in the back yard and discussed what ever the topic was at the time. I was totally a daddy's girl.
She told me that it was great that I was a non smoker but I explained that I had been known to smoke a Swisher Sweet when I was drinking hard liquor. I don't know why I preferred to smoke the little cherry flavored cigars when I drank it was just something my sister and I used to do when we were younger and I still did it from time to time. Just this past October my kids decided to have a bonfire and I sat there to the delight of one of their friends taking shots of whiskey, smoking my little swisher sweets and licking my lips as I watched the flames dance across the wood.
I must admit I'm not your average mom, hell I'm not even anywhere close to your average woman, but I like to do things my way.
After the customer and I ended our conversation a nice older gentleman walked up wearing overalls and a cowboy hat. My smile widened a bit because I love a man in overalls and I love a cowboy so there was two of my favorite things rolled in one standing right in front of me. When he pulled out a cigar and placed it in his mouth as he reached into his pocket to pull out his money my smile widened even farther. The lady looked at my grin and ask if that was love or lust she saw in my eyes. I must say I was a bit embarrassed so I gave her my patented excuse.
"That's not lust you see sparkling in my eyes that's the barley and hops from my beer." She left laughing but the poor gentleman in the hat and overalls was lost to what the joke was to begin with when he stated that this particular Wal-Mart did not sell beer.

Break Check Dummy

Yesterday I noticed a strange grinding sound coming from the rear end of my truck. I was worried that maybe my back brake drums had broken or possibly the springs had came lose and they were grinding away. Today once I clocked out at work I headed home wondering what I was going to do if I needed parts before Thursday when I get paid.
Before I went home I stopped off at my daughter Kikki's house to tell my grand furbaby TuLu happy 4th birthday and to see some of the stuff she had bought for the upcoming skin baby. She was visibly upset because James had went off to his aunt's bar and left her home alone because he was mad at her. We talked for awhile then I hugged and kissed them all and came home to change clothes and grab a bite to eat.
Once I finished eating and all I went outside to jack up the back end of my truck and take the wheel off so I could see why my wheel was making noise. The husband stood back and watched me as I removed the driver side wheel and handed me a hammer to remove the brake drum. When I had the wheel drum off I looked over to see all the pins and springs were in place but as I looked back up I saw what the grinding noise was coming from.
One of my exhaust pipes had been rubbing on my drive shaft. I laughed and said THANK YOU.
I knew that my brakes were working but I wasn't sure what the grinding sound was so I assumed the springs had broken causing my drums to drag.
My son Josh had came out to check on my progress since I like to work on my truck in case I need to when no one is around. He slid under the truck and pulled the exhaust pipe away from the drive shaft and said "mom just get a clothes hanger and tie it off here when you get a chance."

I can not tell you how happy I am that I did not have a big brake job to worry about. I do know that I need to get a new oil pan gasket and borrow someones engine hoist to replace the gasket that is on there now because it is leaking. I love my truck and I love the time I spend working on her. I am thankful for such a great project.
I just want to say thank you daddy for teaching me as a young driver that you should be responsible for the vehicle you drive. It was your insistence in me helping you keep the little red pinto running so I would have a car to drive. It was your guidance that instilled the love of the classic trucks in my heart and your love that made me the unique woman that I am today. I love you and I miss you. I will always be your keyloulou.

Where do dreams come from?

Have you ever wondered where dreams come from? I wonder quite often because some of my dreams are a bit on the weird side like the dream where I was at an automotive supply store waiting to work on my truck and Toby Keith was there. When it came my time to work on my truck I was told I had to strip down to my underwear and have protective oil rubbed on my body. I was quite embarrassed but not as bad as when I realized that Toby was going to be the one rubbing the oil on my body. When I woke from that dream I was thoroughly confused. I have had other dreams with Toby and I will just say that Toby scares me.

There are many theories about dreams and where they come from but I don't know which way to believe. I have had some really wild ones and have written down a few for future book ideas. This past summer after the Toby dream I noticed having more and more strange dreams centering around one person so I used the dreams to write The Mystery of the Lady in the Mist. I'm not sure where these dreams came from but I do know they were entertaining to say the least. In this quite scary dream I was snatched from my truck by a man that was out to kill me. Once I had escaped from his clutches I ended up at Kinky Friedman's door with amnesia. I will not tell you what happens because you must wait for the book to come out to read the story. Before this particular dream the only thing I really knew about Kinky was what I had read in his novels and the fact that he wanted to be the Governor of Texas. Hell I voted for the guy and if he decides to run again I will volunteer in any way I can to help get him elected. I feel he is what this state needs. I don't know how much of the stuff he wrote was fiction but I must say he seems to be a character.

The wild dreams have slowed down a bit but I still get the Quintin Tarentino movie trailer dream every now and then so I just get up and write down what I can remember then turn over and try to get back to sleep. I will never forget the day I awoke from that scary dream hanging on the head board gasping for breath and my heart pounding away in my chest as if were about to explode. I sat there trying to catch my breath and slow my heart rate then mumbled "What in the hell was that?"
Thanks for the Dreams.

Patience

Since I worked an early day today I have been home for the past few hours with an angry abusive husband. It is a difficult thing to stay positive and upbeat when someone is in your ear telling you that you are going to fail. The dogs are all hiding beneath my feet as he goes on his tirade yet I sit peacefully composed. I am strong and I will not falter. I have a great future and I am loved. I just don't understand how someone can be so cruel to a person that has stood behind them and supported them for 27 years. I don't have a mean bone in my body so I just accept things for what they are and I carry on. The sad thing is there are millions of women out there in my shoes and the majority of them just roll over and take the abuse like I have. I am so glad that I had an awakening in May. I look back now and see how far I have come and I refuse to give up because I know I have a great future and I have a purpose.

On a lighter note my 8 week B.T. puppy Mater mastered the stairs beside my bed today. I let the pups run free after I came home this afternoon and as I sat on my bed reading the mail I heard Mater come bounding into the room. He saw Mickey climb the stairs to get on the bed with me and he followed. It was so cute seeing that green eyed monster come climbing up on the bed. He is an adorable little booger.

I turned the laundry room into a puppy room so the three pups could have more room to live. Now I have another expense with Mater being added to my crew. Instead of having my two boys I now have a trio. That's cute I have a B.T. Trio. Once he is old enough I will have him neutered so he will have a long happy life.

Thinking Positive

After a full day at Wal-Mart today I decided to swing by my old job at Kroger and say hello to a few of the friends I had to leave behind when I changed jobs. They were excited to see me and were going on and on about how great I looked. I thought hey it's only been two weeks what did I look like crap before? They replied no you just look happy and your glowing. I replied okay I'm not in love and I'm not pregnant so I don't know where the glow is coming from except maybe since I am re-reading The Secret maybe that is having an effect on me.
I was a bit disappointed because Scott wasn't there to give me a hug so I will have to return tomorrow to pick up my novel in progress from Shelly who has been reading it. By the way Shelly thank you for the good review and yes I wrote it, you and the rest of my Kroger coworkers watched me do it. They keep asking me for progress reports and like I say it is out of my hands right now but I am positive it will be published. I am still waiting for Kinky's permission to use his name before I send it to the publisher. I know we all agree that a collaborative effort would be a dream come true but hey he's a busy man. My main goal is to get the thing published so I can share the fun story with many. I didn't send the whole story to him because I wasn't through but now that I am I wonder if I should send him the rest of the story so he knows the end. This poses a problem. Right now I need to get some rest because I need to be at Wal-Mart at 7am.

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY My Truck has a bed

Yesterday I took my daughter Kikki to her doctors appointment and heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. I still can't believe she is having a baby. Today was my day off so I was just being lazy. I stayed in bed with Mickey all snuggled up next to me and I had my arm around him holding him close. He was snoring away while Domino lay on my pillow above my head snoring in my ear. It was nice to just veg out with the two of them. When I slid out of bed I decided to make a couple homemade Holiday cards for a select few people. Now that Josh and Elizabeth are living in my craft room my crafting stuff is scattered everywhere so it was difficult to find what I needed. While I was looking for my glue I heard someone using the saw in the living room. I thought to myself I hope they have the sense to clean up the sawdust.
After awhile Kikki came over and ask for a ride to Wal-Mart so she could buy groceries. I told her let me shower and I will take you because I need to get one of those padded envelope for this card I'm making for Nancy, Tony, Kinky and all the people at The Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch. When I jumped in the shower she left but left the three puppies running lose so I had to be careful when I climbed out of the shower. When I dressed and headed for the door Elizabeth was on the computer and she said you can't leave Josh is doing something to your truck. Surprised I went out side to hear my son grinding away on something toward the back of my truck. I walked over to see all the wood cut for my bed and all the stuff needed to put it in lying in the driveway.
I was so excited I could just hug him. I didn't hug him though he handed me a pair of vice grips and said come on and help me. I looked up at the beautiful blue sky and said sure it's a gorgeous Texas day lets work on my truck.
We spent the afternoon getting off the old screws and placing the new wood and rails in. After breaking a dill bit we were almost through when we ran out of washers. Once we were through we stood back to look at the work that we had done and we were both grinning from ear to ear. I must say my truck looks so pretty with a wood bed.
One of the men from the other side of the neighborhood was driving by and stopped to tell us how good my truck looked. He asked if the asshole husband had left and I answered no he is making me leave. That made him mad but like I told him I have a great future and I have a positive outlook so I will not let him break me besides right now I'm excited because I have a bed in my truck so now I can put stuff in the back. He replied yeah stuff like your clothes and belongings so you can move on with your life. My reply "Exactly"

We finally made it to Wal-Mart and this time Kikki wasn't burried beneath her groceries because they rode in the back of my truck on my new wood bed.

Thoughts from the Dream State

The following were sayings and bits of conversation that I had saved from some of the strange dreams that I have had this year. I don't know where these little bits of inspiration came from but they seemed to touch my heart and soul. I won't tell you about the dreams to protect the innocent. LOL I do plan to use them one day as I work on other stories I have that have been inspired by my dreams.

Thoughts from the Dream State


It’s not what a man owns or whom he knows that makes him who he is; it’s what’s in his heart.
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You need to quit jumping from blossom to blossom. You need to find that one person that touches your heart, intrigues your mind and energizes your soul then just hold on for dear life. There’s no need for formality all it takes is the desire to never let go.

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Sometimes when you are out on the range you feel lost and turned around. Its times like these you just have to drop the reins and let the horse take the lead he will always carry you home. It works the same with a man. If you trust him then just relax and let him lead you home. It doesn't hurt to be led once in awhile.

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I just want that fire you know the feeling you get when you’re with the right person. Just a look, a touch, a word or an embrace sends you over the top to the point that you just lose control.

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Loving is the easy part it’s the letting go that’s the hardest and most painful.

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Sometimes it takes us going down the wrong path to help us realize where we should have been in the first place.
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We can look back and say woulda’ coulda’ shoulda’ all we want but the fact is we can never go back. The best bet is to look forward and learn our lessons from the mistakes that we made.

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I went through life trying to hide from the hurt of love but all I accomplished was a hurt deeper than that of a love lost. All I accomplished was no love at all.

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I used to look at my future as a dark empty horizon but with each conversation with you a star was added. Soon my horizon was lit up by tiny stars of hope.

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I haven’t lost my mind it’s just my perception of the world has changed but the world just can’t keep up.

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With each dream there is a seed of hope. The problem is whether these seeds are real or just something left over from Jacks Bean stalk.
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Yes my mind wonders aimlessly at times but so do I. It’s hard to keep something that wants freedom still.

The Balloon

I have always had the up most respect for Barbra Bush and I had secretly wished that she was my mother at one time. This past summer on July 2, 2007 I had this dream that I was at some type of charity function in Austin, Texas and I saw Barbra Bush standing there smiling. Somehow we began a conversation and I told her of my secret wish. As we were talking about life and children she mentioned her son George W. was going to be there and she would like to introduce me to him and Laura. I told her I would love to meet the two of them and how I saw her son as this big balloon like you see in parades all full of air and floating above us all as we looked up and awed at him floating above us but as you looked there was Laura holding his string keeping him from floating away or getting tangled in the power lines.

Then I told Barbra that I saw my self as a balloon not as big as George W. but a small yellow balloon. Then I told her the story as follows.

I see myself as this little yellow balloon. At one time I was inflated and floated carelessly through life. I was found by a man who grabbed on to my string. He held out his hand and said "Hey look at my balloon isn't she pretty" For awhile he kept me nicely inflated and held on to my string to keep me from flying away. Then in time he grew tired of others admiring him and his balloon then decided he wanted to be the one in the light. Slowly but surely be started to let out the air. Each day that went by he would shorten the string. Before long the balloon was completely deflated just hanging there on the string. The man felt a great power in doing this. But the balloon was lost unsure what to do. For years the balloon just hung there by the string blaming it self for what it had become. Maybe if it wasn't so happy then people would not have noticed and commented on the pretty balloon. Then the man would not have become jealous thus shortening the string and letting out all the air. Then one day the balloon just gave up. The once shinny material was now dull and covered in dust. Many years had passed and the balloon just wanted to rot away and disappear. One day the balloon caught a glimpse of another man holding onto a balloon proudly. The balloon was fully inflated so round so shiny and proud. The man holding the string loved his balloon and freely gave it string so it could soar. The more people that loved the balloon the prouder the man became and the more he loved the balloon. After seeing this the first balloon decided maybe there was hope for her. Without the man seeing she slowly began to fill with air, not enough to fly but just enough to be seen. He had been so used to her being deflated he had actually quit holding on to the string. Each day she began to gather a little air until she began to float just above the ground. She had hopes that someday she could be as pretty as the balloon she had seen floating happily along. The balloon felt that by lifting her own self up that maybe someday she too could soar. She waits patiently for the day when she has enough air to float away from the man that took away her air and shortened her string. She hoped someday to float by someone that would appreciate holding her string and feeding her air so that she could float. She hoped for someone that knew to feed her more string when she needed it but there to hold on so she didn't float away.
I'm still that balloon and I'm simply floating above the ground just waiting for that chance to float away. There is no one to hold my string so I must be careful not to become too inflated but I do need someone to feed me air so that I may float. I won't be the same shinny balloon that I was years ago but I can still float. Instead of a man holding my string my three precious Boston Terriers Mickey, Domino and Mater will be there to pull me down every once in awhile to keep me from getting tangled in the trees and power lines or just soaring away. Until then I simply float waiting for the chance to be blown out the door thus setting me free.

I don't know why I had this dream but I can say something happened this past summer to awaken the creative side of me that had been dormant for years. I started writing and creating things that were fueled by my dreams.
I just want to say I am grateful for my creativity and I am grateful for the great future that I have. I will remember to remember as time goes on and I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned in this lifetime. I am also grateful that I am able to float above the ground and with positive thought I will soar.

Too Much Stuff

When you work at a place where you are able to see people for what they are you end up realizing that we are nothing but consumers. We consume the air that we breathe, we consume space and we consume one another.
I am a fairly happy friendly person and I try to not let others bring me down with their negativity. I try to see the good in everyone. I enjoy the people that pass through my life as they come through my line. An elderly gentleman with a happy outlook came through the other day and when I ask how he was he replied "I'm great for an old Heb." I advised him no your great period. He enjoyed that so much he chattered away the whole time I was scanning and bagging his purchases. As I placed his bags in his cart he told me I was a sweet woman and he hoped I found my happiness. I replied I have it lies within. Laughing he walked away.
Yesterday I was extra tired and I noticed as I scanned one order after another that people buy too much stuff. Don't get me wrong if it were not for our consumer driven habits I would not have a job by all means spend your money as you please. Maybe it was all the useless holiday decorations I see coming through the lines that had me wondering or was it all those electronic gadgets. Customer after customer came through and each one had more useless stuff in their bags. I am as guilty as the next guy so I am not passing judgement. I have a collection of Boston Terrier stuff that just sits in a cabinet and collects dust that is all it is good for. I have a library of books that I have read at least once where as some I have read several times. The books are now packed away as I prepare to move when I find a place I can afford. Do I really need all this stuff that I have packed in these boxes for a month or two now. I don't even think I miss it.
There are people that rent storage places for their excess stuff that they don't use everyday. I don't want to harm the storage industry but do you really need this stuff if it is packed away in a building that you don't frequently visit?
Maybe we all need to look at our lives and see how wasteful we really are. We make mountains of garbage daily, we consume tons of useless calories with junk food, and we take up space. This year I am not buying gifts for my family I am donating to a Charity that helps others in need. I refuse to be a consumer and buy useless stuff to take up valuable space. If you know that you are on my holiday list you better pick your charity and let me know of your gift is headed to The Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch or The Boston Terrier Rescue of Greater Houston.

No more Cindy Lou Who!

Okay I know it is the season for the Grinch who stole Christmas but I believe I have heard enough of the Cindy Lou Who thing to last me for the rest of the year. Since I just started working at Wal-Mart and my name tag reads Cindy Lou it seems that everyone that sees me has to say hello Cindy Lou Who. Today as a lady came through my line she laughed and said "Hi Cindy Lou hows Who ville?" I had to admit that was funny. Today they placed me on the express checkout which I thought was a bit funny since it was only my second day on a register alone. Lets go ahead and put the new cashier on the busiest register so she can slow down the process. (Well I must say I did a damn good job of not screwing up today.)
As I was standing by the red line waiting to flag down someone hoping to check out a nice gentleman walked by so I greeted him. He looked down at my chest and when he saw my name tag he stopped dead in his tracks. With a sly grin on his face he walked over and surprised the crap out of me by hugging me. I am not accustomed to strange men embarrassing me in Wal-Mart so I was shocked to say the least. He said " Hello Cindy Lou I'm sorry but you were just too cute to pass by." I laughed and said well thanks for the hug you made my day. One of the other cashiers witnessed this and was laughing at my response to the hug. Then along came an elderly couple and I asked them how they were . They responded with fine and you." Of course I always say I'm wonderful so the older gentleman reached out and hugged me then replied" Yes you are." I was grinning after that. The other cashier was now wiping tears from her eyes so I told her I must be wearing my pheromones today. She looked at me and ask what are pheromones?
I asked her if customers at this particular store were always this friendly and she replied no you just seem to be attracting the hugger's today. At least I can say that I really enjoyed the hugs too bad I didn't know who the first guy was and the older gentleman made me feel like my dad had came down from heaven or where ever you go when you step on a rainbow just to give me a hug.
I really enjoy talking to the customers and spend most of the day joking with everyone that comes through my line but I must say the older gentlemen seem to be the ones that enjoy the attention I give them the most. I can't help it I love the silver in their hair. LOL Just don't tell Wal-Mart that I'm enjoying my job so much they may want to charge me admittance to the store.

An Old Cowboy's Advice

Another inbox masterpiece.

An Old Cowboy's Advice:
* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks, bankers, and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered ... not yelled.
* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something you know is meaner than you.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain'tbotherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and alotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
* Live simply.
* Love generously.
* Care deeply.
* Speak kindly.
* Leave the rest to God...

Vet Exam

Vet Exam
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too." The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man. "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."

Don't it make my brown eyes blue

Sometime I wonder just how much a heart can take. When our designer put us together he/she knew that there would be times of trial and tribulation to test our strengths and emotions. That must be why the heart is such a strong thing. You can go through countless heart breaks in a life span and no matter how much it hurts you still survive. My first love died just before his 27Th birthday when I was 20 years old. I was devastated and to this day still have a soft spot for him. I think a lot of the decisions I made after that were an after effect of having a broken heart which led to the ultimate hurt of all living with out love. The first lesson I learned on that fateful day was you don't try to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels by yourself then attempt to ride in an elevator in a thirty story building the next day. My stomach was upset as it was from the sour mash but the toll the elevator took on my insides nearly caused me to lose my breakfast and lunch in one swoop. The hurt of losing someone you love with your whole being can cause you to lose site of yourself then cause you to make unwise decisions especially when you are young. It has taken me years to learn that I made a major mistake and now have to live with the realization that I traveled down this unhappy road of my life by my own choosing. Don't get me wrong I have lived and learned a lot because of this decision and feel I have learned my lessons in life. Stogie was my life at one point and the center of my universe. Once he bit the dust under that truck that hit him while he was doing what he loved best riding his motorcycle my universe came crashing down around me. This was a wake up call for me. I made myself a promise that I would never love a man that deeply again. I also promised that no man would touch me in my heart in that way again. That was 27 years ago and so far I have kept both promises to myself. Back in May on the 27Th anniversary of his death I realized that all I had accomplished was to live a life without love. Then I learned a new lesson that I am still trying to accomplish. That lesson is how to just let go. I work on this every minute of the day. I learned I need to let go of the hurt that I have felt, let go of the hard feelings I have toward those that hurt me, and let go of relationships that do nothing but hold me back one of which is a 27 year old marriage to a controlling abusive man that never had my heart but somehow found a way to hurt me emotionally. I have moved on spiritually and emotionally but economics have held me in a holding pattern for five years. I look at happy couples and ache because I miss that closeness. I want someone to share my hopes and dreams with but can't because I feel like I'm trying to tread water in quicksand.
I started having strange dreams so I began to write them down. Some are insightful and some would make great movies of the Quentin Tarantino genre. I took one dream that I must say I woke from hanging on the headboard gasping for air with my heart pounding in my chest. I sat up and said what in the hell was that? I wrote that dream down in a little notebook that lay by my bed. As days, weeks and months passed more dreams came and I wrote them down too. My family thought I had lost touch with reality but what they didn't see was the dreams were feeding the creative side of me. Once I started working at Kroger in September I turned one of the dreams into a manuscript that hopefully will someday be a novel that will entertain many people. Today I looked back into that notebook and read some of the dreams. I was amazed at how my dreams had created a happy life for me in my dream state. I also found a couple more novels in the making there. There is a possibility of a sequel or two from the first manuscript. I have always believed that there is a reason for everything so possibly the dreams were the creative force in my trying to escape since I had stifled it for many years under the hurt I felt. It doesn't matter because I realise that I have a bright future with many great things to come I just have to be patient and face each change with a positive attitude and move forward never looking back. I don't feel sorry for myself and I don't see myself as a victim I just need to stop being a door mat and allowing myself to be run over by everyone. I am who I am and I have came a long way to get to this point in my life. I am a strong woman with a lot to give. How does the song go? "I am woman hear me roar"

I love my Truck

My 1967 F100 has fast become my favorite vehicle ever. She is so pretty she turns heads where ever I go. I enjoy people walking up to me and asking what year is that. I proudly say she is a 67 ain't she pretty.
There is nothing more enjoyable than driving a classic vehicle. Mostly men young and old come up to me to make a comment but recently I had a soccer mom come up to me and tell me that she was jealous. She explained she needed her big SUV to tote the kids and the groceries but would give her eye teeth for my truck.
I gave her a big smile and said thanks I love my truck and I get up every morning and thank God that my kids are grown and I can now have the life I gave up to be a mom. Laughing she told me she was more than green with envy now because she had her life then married and had kids. She explained she would soon be 50 and still had a four year old to contend with.
When I told her I was 48 and looking forward to having the fun I missed out on she laughed and said "Honey get in that truck and have some fun for me".
I don't know what the best way to look at marriage and kids is but I married young had my kids and now that they are all grown with lives of their own I am ready to strike out and enjoy the life I gave up for marriage and family. I not only married for the wrong reason but I stayed for the wrong reason but then I was raised with a strong sense of duty. Plus no one told me that the TILL DEATH DO YOU PART thing would take so long.
Lots of people have their fun when they are young then settle down for a life with their chosen spouse. I believe I tried to be everything for the wrong person so now I am looking at the single side but I'm not afraid of being alone. Right now I am just looking forward to independence and telling myself it's never too late.
Who knows maybe there is a Mr. Right out there and I just had to go through the life experiences I had just to be ready for him. It dosn't really matter though as long as I have Mickey and Domino here to keep me company I will never truly be alone. Their love cannot be matched by any human.

A facelift is not enough I want a whole front end alignment

Thought I would share this joke that was in my email.


An Oldie

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies,"I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't," she says.



"I was behind you in McDonald's."

Living with a wiener

For those of you that know me well know I live with several Boston Terriers and love the breed. For the past 13 years I have been a fan of the breed.
Just recently my youngest son's girl moved in with us and brought along her Dachshund. I have never personally lived with a dachshund before but have been thrust into the wiener culture without wishing to. My biggest fear was how would the BT's handle living with a hot dog that walks which she resembles. I was more concerned that Twinkie, my son's mostly white BT which we lovingly call the Nazi or white supremest skin head would try to harm the adorable red wiener at first glance since she is anti any other breed other than Boston Terrier. Twinkie took the new addition in stride by ignoring her presence for a while. The other BT's seemed to not care at all that their home had been invaded by a dog that is two inches from the ground and has a long nose and tail. That was when I started noticing the little wiener sitting in my son's lap a majority of the time and not his beloved Twinkie whom would sit on the back of the sofa and observe the wiener in her Bubba's lap. That was when I started to comment to my son that his wiener loved him or say hey look your wiener is standing up when she would sit erect in his lap. This brought laughs to us all except for Twinkie of course who sat on the back of the sofa and glared at the little red wiener.
One weekend as we were having a bonfire I sat back and observed the wiener and Twinkie patrolling the fence line together. I thought since I had already downed a few shots of Jameson Irish Whiskey and a few beers maybe I was seeing things so I ask the person next to me which happened to be the wieners mom if I was seeing things. She replied no they are working in tandem. That was when I realized what was going on. The thing is since the wiener is of German origin and controlling she must be of the Nazi persuasion which just fits right in with the little white skinhead. The wiener and the Boston had bonded and were now working as a team. The ball obsessed wiener now had taught the white Boston how to be ball obsessed and the couch climbing I think I'm a cat Boston Terrier had taught the wiener to climb on the back of the sofa and recline like a cat.
Twinkie has been a vocal dog to begin with and we had grown used to her meowing and attempts to talk but now the wiener had learned to be vocal also so all I hear are whimpers from the wiener wanting me to throw the ball or for me to retrieve the ball that has been placed out of her reach by an annoyed human that had grown tired of her incessant whining. Twinkie could care less about the ball being retrieved but she meows and chatters for attention that she feels the wiener is taking away from her.
As for the rest of the BT crew they just lay around and watch the wiener and Twinkie try to control the house and the people in it. I can not tell you how many times I have been awaken at night by the cold nose of the wiener and her soft whimper wanting attention.
The scary part was waking up to a sweet soft body next to me and reaching down to pat my beloved Mickey or Domino only to feel the silky soft coat of the wiener in my bed. That was where I draw the line. I don't mind sleeping with a few Boston Terriers but by god I do not ever want to wake up with a red wiener at my side ever again.
I gently picked her up and carried her to my son's room where I placed her in his bed before remarking that I was single and felt no need to wake up with my hand on a wiener. He said mom your just mad because it was soft.

Turkey Day

Well Turkey day was a tough one for myself and my co-workers. We slaved over ovens to prepare meals for customers. Most were kind and wished us a great day but as usual we had a few that were curt and down right mean. Then as the day came to close my soon to be x-coworkers all gave me a hug and wished me luck in my new adventure of working at Wal-Mart. I hated leaving such a great group of people but I had to face the fact that Kroger was not paying me enough to be the independent adult I wanted to be alas I accepted a position at
Wal-Mart that paid more money and promised more hours. I think I will miss Scott's warm smiles and sweet hugs the most but don't tell him that. Thanks everyone for encouraging me when I was in the middle of writing my great novel that still sits waiting for approval. I appreciate the pats on the back and the interest that you all gave me when my family thought I was wasting my time. I am amazed that such warm and encouraging people exist and I am a better person for meeting you all. Don't worry I will be back to visit and get a hug or two from Scott and possibly I will get to work Kroger as a second job in the near future. Just remember what your paycheck states. A satisfied customer made this paycheck possible. I just love it!

I stood by your bed last night

I hate to think of the day that Mickey crosses the Rainbow Bridge. I watch him each day and realize that he fast approaching that time. I love him as much as I can and spend time with him letting him know I love him dearly. I just hope when the day comes that I lose my best friend this poem will help me to cope.

"I STOOD BESIDE YOUR BED LAST NIGHT" --Author unknown


I stood beside your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you so softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you everyday To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ... In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning And say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me

Christmas Carol for Dogs

A Christmas Carol for Your Dog(Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
Dog tags ring, are you listening'?
In the lane, snow is glistening'.
It's yellow, NOT white,
I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland
Smell that tree?
That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee,
it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland.
"In the meadow Dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man,
So all the world will know that it'smine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast;
"Stay off my TURF,
this small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland."

True Texan or The Texas Attitude

True Texan or The Texas Attitude
By Cindy Rodd Ruffino






Texas is as unique as the people that call it home. I guess you can say I was fortunate enough to be born in this great state. Over a lifetime of observation I have discovered that not every True Texan was born here. Texas was originally Mexico and years ago a wise man, an Impresario named Stephan F. Austin looked at this vast beautiful land and felt that with the right settlers this place would be wonderful. In order to get your acreage you had to become a citizen of Mexico and become a Catholic along with a few other promises. Without going into a history lesson things changed, a majority of the settlers disagreed, and soon battles for freedom were fought. One of the most famous battles was the battle fought at the Alamo. The men who fought and died trying make Texas free from the rule of Mexico were not Texans. They were here to stand with those whom believed Texas would be a better place if it were its own country. In my years of school and helping my children through their school years I came to believe that these early settlers set the way for what I call the Texas attitude. Even our current President the great George W. Bush has what I call the Texas attitude. The outspoken, opinionated, stubborn personality that will stand by what they think is right even if maybe they are not entirely right. My father had this attitude from time to time and yes reader so have I. There are many great leaders in our past that are from Texas, are also living proof that we Texans have a special way about us. The late President Lyndon B. Johnson was a great example. I remember one History Professor in my College years that told a story of how our illustrious leader loved to hold his cabinet meetings while sitting naked on the toilet. Now that is what I call a True Texan.

I like how it is said that everything is bigger in Texas. I’m sure there are objections to that rule but believe me you do not want to argue with a Texan. I have been married to the same man for 27 years and I will tell you now that he has that Texas attitude. He is a native Houstonian, not the brightest crayon in the box thanks to the old just pass them rule, but when he thinks he is right he gets this little sparkle in his eye, and then he gets a little smirk on his face, crosses his arms and will argue with you no matter how many times you prove him wrong. By God he knows what he’s talking about. I have learned to keep my sanity I just shrug it off and walk away. Maybe that is another part of the Texas attitude I’m right and what’s the use arguing.
My father was a wise man with many tales about what the Houston area was like when he was growing up. I loved to hear about Houston and the surrounding areas. He told of a road named Jack rabbit road. As a little girl I imagined this to be a dirt road with a long patch of green running down the middle. I envisioned my father as a young man walking down this road in his bare feet hunting rabbits. A few years later while looking for a friend’s house that had moved out to the Cypress area I saw Jack Rabbit road. I ask my father if this was the same road he told us of and he confirmed the location. I was disillusioned to see it paved with signal lights. I told my children this story one day as we passed the FM 1960 area that was once Jack Rabbit Road. The bustling corridor to numerous businesses and cookie cutter subdivisions just seemed like an unlikely place to once be called Jack Rabbit Road.

I loved hearing stories about Houston from my father and wished he was still with us so he could tell my children about the places that were. I feel they have lost out on a wonderful experience. Time has erased many of those stories from my mind. Then I remember riding in the back seat of our station wagon looking at miles of country on both sides of the road. I remember the amazing Good Year Blimp base and how it was surrounded by nothing but fields of cows. Today there is no blimp base. The only thing that is there to show that it once existed is a patch of cement and a chain link fence off to the side of a Lowe’s Home Improvement. Things like this I can tell my children because I lived it. I sometimes feel like I am carrying on for my father. They all remember once seeing the blimp overhead and the sound or its motor humming as it passed by. That was possibly the last flight that she flew over the Houston area before she retired. I told them of warm summer nights as a child lying in the grass of our back yard watching the dancing lights as the blimp flew over our Heights home. I can tell them of magical places like the Shamrock Hilton, of Dance Town USA, Gilleys, fishing in Oyster Creek, miles and miles of pastures with longhorn cattle all gone by the way of growth. They can tell their children of showing their rabbits in 4-H at the Astrodome, of Astroworld, the Good Year Blimp, Peppermint Park and other memories that are gone by the way of a little something called progress.
I remember a man once told me “I may not have been born in Texas but I got here as soon as I could.”
There are a few famous people that were not born in Texas but not only call Texas home but they have formed that opinionated attitude that I have come to call a Texas trait. Both Former President George H Bush and our present President George W. were born else where but have adapted to the Texas way. I remember upsetting a few Bush supporters when he first took office. One lady nearly had a fit when I told her that I liked ole W he had the attitude to make Texas proud. She went off on me telling me I should be ashamed that George W. Bush was a gift from God and he was going to save this country. Since I do not believe in discussing politics in public I gathered my purchases and left the store. My husband whom does not like ole W at all, assumed his I know what I’m talking about stance and proceeded to argue with the woman. Since she was the only cashier at that particular corner mega corporation drug store I had to turn around and literally drag him out of the store before the police were called or the woman lost her job. She was still screaming about praying and her God sent President as we drove out of the parking lot. I tried to explain to my other half that there was a time and place to discuss politics and religion and I felt the corner drug store was not the place.
Another Texan that was not born here is the Singer, writer, humorist who just recently ran for Governor, Richard Kinky Friedman. I must say I have never heard his music but I love his mystery novels. I don’t know if he has that Texas attitude but I do know that he has a great Texas sense of humor. He has been known to say things in jest and have it taken the wrong way. I must say, so have I, and just about every other native Texan I know. My youngest son is the same way. I tell him look not everyone gets your humor so you have to be careful what you say. I remember once when I was being loaded into the back of an ambulance on my way to the emergency room when he said in jest “Hey mom while you’re their maybe you can ask for some liposuction and breast realignment. I laughed but the Deputy Sheriff that was standing nearby took that Texas stance and chewed him a new one. The Deputy did not know our ongoing joke about me trying to train my breast to sit up and beg but all they could learn was lay down and play dead. He thought my son was being abusive to me. My son told him that it was a joke and even though my five foot five frame was shadowed by his six foot two frame he was afraid of me.
One Christmas holiday season I was employed by a company that has the Santa set up in a local mall. I had a particular hard time finding a good Santa. One gentleman came in with a beard and he seemed to fit the Santa role but also once he discovered that this was the first holiday season without my father decided he would be my father figure also. It is not an easy thing to tell Santa to butt out. After meeting my husband whom was out of a job and observing his way of dealing with me and my Texas I know what I’m doing attitude he decided I need his advice. He sat me down in Santa’s chair before the mall opened and told me that I was an intelligent and pretty young woman and I did not deserve to be treated in the manner I was accustomed. He told me flat out to get rid of the husband I would be better off raising my children alone. I was shocked. When I told him that he needed to stick to Santa business and leave me alone he became upset with me. He demanded to know why I chose to stay with such a jerk. I looked up at him and replied “ In 1980 I made a promise in a church to god, my family and my husband that I would be there for him in good times and bad, in sickness and health, till death do us part. It is not my fault the till death do you part thing was taking so long.” He did not know what to say and at least gave me a couple days peace before he lectured me again. Years later my mother saw the gentleman at a donut shop and he ask her” Hey is Cindy still living with that Asshole?” It is sad to say but he was not the first to ask that question and certainly not the last. My mother said she has come to expect it when ever she sees someone that she has not seen in quite awhile. I know these people mean well and this is another example of being a good Texan.
Many of you probably do not agree with me on my Texas attitude theory and you’re probably thinking well this was just a waste of time reading this dribble. All I ask is sit back and watch. Take the time to observe our leaders, our coworkers, our friends and anyone else you happen to see. When something is said or done that they do not agree with if they are a true Texan the attitude will show itself.