Have you ever wondered where dreams come from? I wonder quite often because some of my dreams are a bit on the weird side like the dream where I was at an automotive supply store waiting to work on my truck and Toby Keith was there. When it came my time to work on my truck I was told I had to strip down to my underwear and have protective oil rubbed on my body. I was quite embarrassed but not as bad as when I realized that Toby was going to be the one rubbing the oil on my body. When I woke from that dream I was thoroughly confused. I have had other dreams with Toby and I will just say that Toby scares me.
There are many theories about dreams and where they come from but I don't know which way to believe. I have had some really wild ones and have written down a few for future book ideas. This past summer after the Toby dream I noticed having more and more strange dreams centering around one person so I used the dreams to write The Mystery of the Lady in the Mist. I'm not sure where these dreams came from but I do know they were entertaining to say the least. In this quite scary dream I was snatched from my truck by a man that was out to kill me. Once I had escaped from his clutches I ended up at Kinky Friedman's door with amnesia. I will not tell you what happens because you must wait for the book to come out to read the story. Before this particular dream the only thing I really knew about Kinky was what I had read in his novels and the fact that he wanted to be the Governor of Texas. Hell I voted for the guy and if he decides to run again I will volunteer in any way I can to help get him elected. I feel he is what this state needs. I don't know how much of the stuff he wrote was fiction but I must say he seems to be a character.
The wild dreams have slowed down a bit but I still get the Quintin Tarentino movie trailer dream every now and then so I just get up and write down what I can remember then turn over and try to get back to sleep. I will never forget the day I awoke from that scary dream hanging on the head board gasping for breath and my heart pounding away in my chest as if were about to explode. I sat there trying to catch my breath and slow my heart rate then mumbled "What in the hell was that?"
Thanks for the Dreams.
Cindy with Candy and Chesty P
My beautiful babies
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Thoughts from the Dream State
The following were sayings and bits of conversation that I had saved from some of the strange dreams that I have had this year. I don't know where these little bits of inspiration came from but they seemed to touch my heart and soul. I won't tell you about the dreams to protect the innocent. LOL I do plan to use them one day as I work on other stories I have that have been inspired by my dreams.
Thoughts from the Dream State
It’s not what a man owns or whom he knows that makes him who he is; it’s what’s in his heart.
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You need to quit jumping from blossom to blossom. You need to find that one person that touches your heart, intrigues your mind and energizes your soul then just hold on for dear life. There’s no need for formality all it takes is the desire to never let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes when you are out on the range you feel lost and turned around. Its times like these you just have to drop the reins and let the horse take the lead he will always carry you home. It works the same with a man. If you trust him then just relax and let him lead you home. It doesn't hurt to be led once in awhile.
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I just want that fire you know the feeling you get when you’re with the right person. Just a look, a touch, a word or an embrace sends you over the top to the point that you just lose control.
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Loving is the easy part it’s the letting go that’s the hardest and most painful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes it takes us going down the wrong path to help us realize where we should have been in the first place.
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We can look back and say woulda’ coulda’ shoulda’ all we want but the fact is we can never go back. The best bet is to look forward and learn our lessons from the mistakes that we made.
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I went through life trying to hide from the hurt of love but all I accomplished was a hurt deeper than that of a love lost. All I accomplished was no love at all.
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I used to look at my future as a dark empty horizon but with each conversation with you a star was added. Soon my horizon was lit up by tiny stars of hope.
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I haven’t lost my mind it’s just my perception of the world has changed but the world just can’t keep up.
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With each dream there is a seed of hope. The problem is whether these seeds are real or just something left over from Jacks Bean stalk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes my mind wonders aimlessly at times but so do I. It’s hard to keep something that wants freedom still.
Thoughts from the Dream State
It’s not what a man owns or whom he knows that makes him who he is; it’s what’s in his heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You need to quit jumping from blossom to blossom. You need to find that one person that touches your heart, intrigues your mind and energizes your soul then just hold on for dear life. There’s no need for formality all it takes is the desire to never let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes when you are out on the range you feel lost and turned around. Its times like these you just have to drop the reins and let the horse take the lead he will always carry you home. It works the same with a man. If you trust him then just relax and let him lead you home. It doesn't hurt to be led once in awhile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just want that fire you know the feeling you get when you’re with the right person. Just a look, a touch, a word or an embrace sends you over the top to the point that you just lose control.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loving is the easy part it’s the letting go that’s the hardest and most painful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes it takes us going down the wrong path to help us realize where we should have been in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We can look back and say woulda’ coulda’ shoulda’ all we want but the fact is we can never go back. The best bet is to look forward and learn our lessons from the mistakes that we made.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went through life trying to hide from the hurt of love but all I accomplished was a hurt deeper than that of a love lost. All I accomplished was no love at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to look at my future as a dark empty horizon but with each conversation with you a star was added. Soon my horizon was lit up by tiny stars of hope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I haven’t lost my mind it’s just my perception of the world has changed but the world just can’t keep up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With each dream there is a seed of hope. The problem is whether these seeds are real or just something left over from Jacks Bean stalk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes my mind wonders aimlessly at times but so do I. It’s hard to keep something that wants freedom still.
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Balloon
I have always had the up most respect for Barbra Bush and I had secretly wished that she was my mother at one time. This past summer on July 2, 2007 I had this dream that I was at some type of charity function in Austin, Texas and I saw Barbra Bush standing there smiling. Somehow we began a conversation and I told her of my secret wish. As we were talking about life and children she mentioned her son George W. was going to be there and she would like to introduce me to him and Laura. I told her I would love to meet the two of them and how I saw her son as this big balloon like you see in parades all full of air and floating above us all as we looked up and awed at him floating above us but as you looked there was Laura holding his string keeping him from floating away or getting tangled in the power lines.
Then I told Barbra that I saw my self as a balloon not as big as George W. but a small yellow balloon. Then I told her the story as follows.
I see myself as this little yellow balloon. At one time I was inflated and floated carelessly through life. I was found by a man who grabbed on to my string. He held out his hand and said "Hey look at my balloon isn't she pretty" For awhile he kept me nicely inflated and held on to my string to keep me from flying away. Then in time he grew tired of others admiring him and his balloon then decided he wanted to be the one in the light. Slowly but surely be started to let out the air. Each day that went by he would shorten the string. Before long the balloon was completely deflated just hanging there on the string. The man felt a great power in doing this. But the balloon was lost unsure what to do. For years the balloon just hung there by the string blaming it self for what it had become. Maybe if it wasn't so happy then people would not have noticed and commented on the pretty balloon. Then the man would not have become jealous thus shortening the string and letting out all the air. Then one day the balloon just gave up. The once shinny material was now dull and covered in dust. Many years had passed and the balloon just wanted to rot away and disappear. One day the balloon caught a glimpse of another man holding onto a balloon proudly. The balloon was fully inflated so round so shiny and proud. The man holding the string loved his balloon and freely gave it string so it could soar. The more people that loved the balloon the prouder the man became and the more he loved the balloon. After seeing this the first balloon decided maybe there was hope for her. Without the man seeing she slowly began to fill with air, not enough to fly but just enough to be seen. He had been so used to her being deflated he had actually quit holding on to the string. Each day she began to gather a little air until she began to float just above the ground. She had hopes that someday she could be as pretty as the balloon she had seen floating happily along. The balloon felt that by lifting her own self up that maybe someday she too could soar. She waits patiently for the day when she has enough air to float away from the man that took away her air and shortened her string. She hoped someday to float by someone that would appreciate holding her string and feeding her air so that she could float. She hoped for someone that knew to feed her more string when she needed it but there to hold on so she didn't float away.
I'm still that balloon and I'm simply floating above the ground just waiting for that chance to float away. There is no one to hold my string so I must be careful not to become too inflated but I do need someone to feed me air so that I may float. I won't be the same shinny balloon that I was years ago but I can still float. Instead of a man holding my string my three precious Boston Terriers Mickey, Domino and Mater will be there to pull me down every once in awhile to keep me from getting tangled in the trees and power lines or just soaring away. Until then I simply float waiting for the chance to be blown out the door thus setting me free.
I don't know why I had this dream but I can say something happened this past summer to awaken the creative side of me that had been dormant for years. I started writing and creating things that were fueled by my dreams.
I just want to say I am grateful for my creativity and I am grateful for the great future that I have. I will remember to remember as time goes on and I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned in this lifetime. I am also grateful that I am able to float above the ground and with positive thought I will soar.
Then I told Barbra that I saw my self as a balloon not as big as George W. but a small yellow balloon. Then I told her the story as follows.
I see myself as this little yellow balloon. At one time I was inflated and floated carelessly through life. I was found by a man who grabbed on to my string. He held out his hand and said "Hey look at my balloon isn't she pretty" For awhile he kept me nicely inflated and held on to my string to keep me from flying away. Then in time he grew tired of others admiring him and his balloon then decided he wanted to be the one in the light. Slowly but surely be started to let out the air. Each day that went by he would shorten the string. Before long the balloon was completely deflated just hanging there on the string. The man felt a great power in doing this. But the balloon was lost unsure what to do. For years the balloon just hung there by the string blaming it self for what it had become. Maybe if it wasn't so happy then people would not have noticed and commented on the pretty balloon. Then the man would not have become jealous thus shortening the string and letting out all the air. Then one day the balloon just gave up. The once shinny material was now dull and covered in dust. Many years had passed and the balloon just wanted to rot away and disappear. One day the balloon caught a glimpse of another man holding onto a balloon proudly. The balloon was fully inflated so round so shiny and proud. The man holding the string loved his balloon and freely gave it string so it could soar. The more people that loved the balloon the prouder the man became and the more he loved the balloon. After seeing this the first balloon decided maybe there was hope for her. Without the man seeing she slowly began to fill with air, not enough to fly but just enough to be seen. He had been so used to her being deflated he had actually quit holding on to the string. Each day she began to gather a little air until she began to float just above the ground. She had hopes that someday she could be as pretty as the balloon she had seen floating happily along. The balloon felt that by lifting her own self up that maybe someday she too could soar. She waits patiently for the day when she has enough air to float away from the man that took away her air and shortened her string. She hoped someday to float by someone that would appreciate holding her string and feeding her air so that she could float. She hoped for someone that knew to feed her more string when she needed it but there to hold on so she didn't float away.
I'm still that balloon and I'm simply floating above the ground just waiting for that chance to float away. There is no one to hold my string so I must be careful not to become too inflated but I do need someone to feed me air so that I may float. I won't be the same shinny balloon that I was years ago but I can still float. Instead of a man holding my string my three precious Boston Terriers Mickey, Domino and Mater will be there to pull me down every once in awhile to keep me from getting tangled in the trees and power lines or just soaring away. Until then I simply float waiting for the chance to be blown out the door thus setting me free.
I don't know why I had this dream but I can say something happened this past summer to awaken the creative side of me that had been dormant for years. I started writing and creating things that were fueled by my dreams.
I just want to say I am grateful for my creativity and I am grateful for the great future that I have. I will remember to remember as time goes on and I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned in this lifetime. I am also grateful that I am able to float above the ground and with positive thought I will soar.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Don't it make my brown eyes blue
Sometime I wonder just how much a heart can take. When our designer put us together he/she knew that there would be times of trial and tribulation to test our strengths and emotions. That must be why the heart is such a strong thing. You can go through countless heart breaks in a life span and no matter how much it hurts you still survive. My first love died just before his 27Th birthday when I was 20 years old. I was devastated and to this day still have a soft spot for him. I think a lot of the decisions I made after that were an after effect of having a broken heart which led to the ultimate hurt of all living with out love. The first lesson I learned on that fateful day was you don't try to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels by yourself then attempt to ride in an elevator in a thirty story building the next day. My stomach was upset as it was from the sour mash but the toll the elevator took on my insides nearly caused me to lose my breakfast and lunch in one swoop. The hurt of losing someone you love with your whole being can cause you to lose site of yourself then cause you to make unwise decisions especially when you are young. It has taken me years to learn that I made a major mistake and now have to live with the realization that I traveled down this unhappy road of my life by my own choosing. Don't get me wrong I have lived and learned a lot because of this decision and feel I have learned my lessons in life. Stogie was my life at one point and the center of my universe. Once he bit the dust under that truck that hit him while he was doing what he loved best riding his motorcycle my universe came crashing down around me. This was a wake up call for me. I made myself a promise that I would never love a man that deeply again. I also promised that no man would touch me in my heart in that way again. That was 27 years ago and so far I have kept both promises to myself. Back in May on the 27Th anniversary of his death I realized that all I had accomplished was to live a life without love. Then I learned a new lesson that I am still trying to accomplish. That lesson is how to just let go. I work on this every minute of the day. I learned I need to let go of the hurt that I have felt, let go of the hard feelings I have toward those that hurt me, and let go of relationships that do nothing but hold me back one of which is a 27 year old marriage to a controlling abusive man that never had my heart but somehow found a way to hurt me emotionally. I have moved on spiritually and emotionally but economics have held me in a holding pattern for five years. I look at happy couples and ache because I miss that closeness. I want someone to share my hopes and dreams with but can't because I feel like I'm trying to tread water in quicksand.
I started having strange dreams so I began to write them down. Some are insightful and some would make great movies of the Quentin Tarantino genre. I took one dream that I must say I woke from hanging on the headboard gasping for air with my heart pounding in my chest. I sat up and said what in the hell was that? I wrote that dream down in a little notebook that lay by my bed. As days, weeks and months passed more dreams came and I wrote them down too. My family thought I had lost touch with reality but what they didn't see was the dreams were feeding the creative side of me. Once I started working at Kroger in September I turned one of the dreams into a manuscript that hopefully will someday be a novel that will entertain many people. Today I looked back into that notebook and read some of the dreams. I was amazed at how my dreams had created a happy life for me in my dream state. I also found a couple more novels in the making there. There is a possibility of a sequel or two from the first manuscript. I have always believed that there is a reason for everything so possibly the dreams were the creative force in my trying to escape since I had stifled it for many years under the hurt I felt. It doesn't matter because I realise that I have a bright future with many great things to come I just have to be patient and face each change with a positive attitude and move forward never looking back. I don't feel sorry for myself and I don't see myself as a victim I just need to stop being a door mat and allowing myself to be run over by everyone. I am who I am and I have came a long way to get to this point in my life. I am a strong woman with a lot to give. How does the song go? "I am woman hear me roar"
I started having strange dreams so I began to write them down. Some are insightful and some would make great movies of the Quentin Tarantino genre. I took one dream that I must say I woke from hanging on the headboard gasping for air with my heart pounding in my chest. I sat up and said what in the hell was that? I wrote that dream down in a little notebook that lay by my bed. As days, weeks and months passed more dreams came and I wrote them down too. My family thought I had lost touch with reality but what they didn't see was the dreams were feeding the creative side of me. Once I started working at Kroger in September I turned one of the dreams into a manuscript that hopefully will someday be a novel that will entertain many people. Today I looked back into that notebook and read some of the dreams. I was amazed at how my dreams had created a happy life for me in my dream state. I also found a couple more novels in the making there. There is a possibility of a sequel or two from the first manuscript. I have always believed that there is a reason for everything so possibly the dreams were the creative force in my trying to escape since I had stifled it for many years under the hurt I felt. It doesn't matter because I realise that I have a bright future with many great things to come I just have to be patient and face each change with a positive attitude and move forward never looking back. I don't feel sorry for myself and I don't see myself as a victim I just need to stop being a door mat and allowing myself to be run over by everyone. I am who I am and I have came a long way to get to this point in my life. I am a strong woman with a lot to give. How does the song go? "I am woman hear me roar"
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