On Hold

It is a bit strange just knowing and waiting for my first visit with the surgeon. There are times where I just feel numb not knowing what to feel. I don't feel any different except there is a swelling on the side of my left breast and my arm pit is still sore from the biopsy. I look in the mirror and I don't look any different. The only change is I now know that there is a cancerous alien living and growing in my body. I wonder how it began to develop and why. The hardest so far is the not knowing. I feel like my life is on hold.
I want to give kudos to those that have been through this process, went through treatment and conquered this menace. I have met several survivors and have such respect and awe when I see women sporting their bald head proudly. To me that is strength wearing the badge of their struggle so boldly.