The labor progressed slowly and we sat there keeping my daughter company. When everyone else walked outside to smoke away the nerves I stayed at her side. Once I missed one meal I decided to slip out of the room while the nurse was checking the progress of the baby's decent. I grabbed a couple packages of graham crackers and a cup of peanut butter. When we got to the twelve hour mark and Kikki had her epidural I started doing something I never thought I would do..... drinking coffee. Okay here is the deal black coffee is a bit much so I added a little sugar. I enjoyed the sweet bitter flavor then I tried milk. After experimenting a bit I discovered after cup number four I liked the french vanilla creamer. Then I realized four cups of coffee makes you forget you are tired but you need to pee.
Buzzing from the caffeine high I started a betting pool. As she reached seven centimeters I altered from working on my next book and writing this blog on my pretty purple pad. Once I finished cup number five Kikki cut me off. She told everyone in the room to not let me have any more coffee. The trouble with chipper people is caffeine makes them unbearable especially when you are confined to a small room at least that is what my daughter told me everyone else was enjoying my little show.
After bouncing off the walls a little while I decided maybe she was right I should stop at two cups of Java. Remembering what it was like to have your first baby I felt bad for my daughter as she approached hour fifteen. I know she was tired of being poked , prodded and repositioned because baby bump was unhappy with the whole birthing process.
Then I cam up with the bright idea of giving each of the grandparents names. The paternal grandfather the 2ND wanted to be called pa hoe and his wife me mo. (I didn't know at the time that pa hoe was actually pot hole from a drunken stupor) The paternal grandmother wanted to be memaw. Now it was our turn so the maternal grandfather was peepaw and I of course am Babicka which is grandma in Czech. I had to pass my heritage along as much as possible. With that settled I had to find something else to occupy my racing mind as I waited for baby bump to become James Murray Weis IV or quarto.
When the nurse came in and ask me to hold my daughters leg and help her push them I was jazzed as the pushing began. After a few sets of pushing her leg up into her chest it was time for the doctor to come in and begin the delivery process. I watched fascinated and took it all in in case I need to deliver a baby in the future. I may not be a doctor but I play one on television. I was amazed at the whole process of having a baby and could not believe how the head expands once it is out of the birth canal. James cut the umbilical cord and baby Jamie was handed to his mom while the doctor made quick work of the last process of the afterbirth and the umbilical cord. Of course I lost interest in that part as I oohed and ahhhed at my new grandson that was actually purple. He was given oxygen and he turned pink. Now that was amazing.
Now that I am Babicka I drink coffee and I have a darling little boy to spoil the shit out of. HEHEHEHEHE pay back Kikki its payback.
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