Park my Ziegen Bock up a tree

Since it was a quiet weekend we decided to take the boys to the park so that the pups could get used to walking on a leash. Josh and Elizabeth decided to take Meatball and Noodle while I took Domino and Mater. I must say my boys looked handsome in their matching purple harnesses and green and purple leashes. Meatball and Domino loved the walk around the lake at Borroughs Park but Mater and Noodle were afraid of the water line. Once I had Mater walking on the opposite side of the lake he was okay but ventured over to the water line when he saw someone fishing with wieners. Mater and Noodle also liked looking at the kids in the park playing. To them that was something new. Once we were back to Josh's jeep all the boys passed out for the ride home. I need to work with them on their water skills because now that Mickey has crossed the Rainbow Bridge I don't have a fishing buddy. I guess I will be spending a lot more time out in the beautiful Texas outdoors getting my boys ready to go fishing with me someday.

On another note last night we went to the German Fest in Tomball. Tom lied to me and said it was a Czech fest. I asked him are you sure because I know Tomball is a German settlement. No he replied that he had talked to a woman from Flatonia that was setting up a booth and she said she was making kolaches. Knowing that Tom could not tell the truth if his life depended on it I agreed to go along. Well people I was right it was a German Fest and there were no kolaches. That is okay I wasn't too mad because he bought me a Ziegen Bock and I fell in love with it. For those that do not know what a Ziegen Bock is it is an Amber Beer brewed exclusively for Texas.

Now my beer of choice is Ziegen Bock... well at least until I try something I like better.

Onion Rings for the babys while I multitask

Yesterday I had an outing with my boys and it was Mater’s first time to be out of the house and neighborhood and on a leash as well. He didn’t like the leash idea at first but after ten feet of being pulled he decided walking was better and took off. I don’t know who enjoyed the nature walk more me or the boys. I decided to try a new trail in the new Creekside Village area of The Woodlands and it was enjoyable. I wished the trail was longer but that was all it had to offer at this point in time. I am looking forward to taking the boys hiking in the Hill Country. As I went out tonight to fill my truck with gas I let Domino ride with me and he ended up getting a burger at Sonic because he went nuts when we passed by. I don’t think he remembers eating there I think he just smelled the hamburgers cooking. After filling up the gas tank and listening to Domino whine because he smelled hamburgers I gave in and bought him and Mater a burger and of all things onion rings. I guess I will pay for that in the days to come because of the gas factor behind Boston Terriers and onion rings. It doesn’t matter because I love my boys and life is good. Well I’m off to bed as soon as I close out my chat and say goodbye to my online friends. I sit here writing my blog, chatting to a few friends and texting a friend at the same time. I guess I am truly a multitasker.

write or wrong

I have been doing a lot of writing lately from working on my current book and working with the publisher on the book that is the process of being published to writing my email and blog. Okay I haven’t written a blog in a week but that’s because I have been doing a lot of things away from the computer like visiting the new grandbaby and spending time with friends and loved ones. I actually talked to my mother for an hour and forty five minutes but you should only count that as an hour because I spent most of the time repeating myself because she didn’t remember what I had said ten minutes before. I think I told her the new grand baby was a boy and his name was Jamie three times. I told her I hadn’t talked to my sister twice and yes I wanted a divorce several times. This long conversation was thanks to me calling her on Easter morning because Christianity is a big deal to her.
My daughter Kikki and I had a long conversation one day last week about the whole religion thing. She said that she did not believe in religion at all but since there were people in her family and James’s family that were Christians she would have baby Jamie baptized when he was a little older out of respect for those people. I agreed with her sometimes we have to put our beliefs aside to please our loved ones. It is amazing how your children grow up right in front of you but you don’t realize it until you see them being adults. I myself decided that once they reached the age to be considered an adult my part was finished. I will be there for guidance and advice but hey their life is their own I don’t make their decisions for them and I don’t live their lives. In return I expect them to not tell me how to live mine. If I want to start my own commune with thirty men then that is my business. Okay thirty men may be a bit much so maybe I should cut that in half …. Okay no more than ten. Maybe more than two would be stupid but five would be better since there would be one for each week day giving me weekends off. OH HELL NO!
I haven’t lost my mind totally I don’t think I’m ready for any man to be in my life. After spending the better part of the last year figuring out who the hell I am then setting my goals and achieving them one by one why would I want to give control over to another man. I just worked through my freedom I don’t want to become an indentured slave once more. Now I know there are a few of you that are saying I know of one man you would give it all over to. NO!
As much as I like him I think there is something wrong with him other than the obvious. I want a partner not a boss. I want a friend not a supervisor. I want tenderness and affection not lust. Maybe I’m just not ready to have another man in my life in that way confusing me.

Now to change the subject the publisher sent me a seven page questionnaire yesterday which took the better part of the day compiling the information and answering the questions. I was glad once it was through because that marked the end of the pre editing stage and I now move into the editing stage of book publishing. I am looking forward to getting the proof sheets so I can go over them because that is the most time consuming part of getting a book published. The funny thing is I have been working away steady at the next book in line all the while coming up with other story ideas and information for future projects. Judging by the pages I have compiled on paper and on computer this writing thing will consume a big part of my life. I have had fun doing research and find myself coming up with story ideas as I am driving along. I saw a Montgomery County Sheriff yesterday and said to Josh, who happened to be in the truck with me, I need to talk to one of those guys but I need a nice friendly one that likes to talk. He asked me why I wanted to talk to a sheriff and I replied story ideas and research. The funny thing is as we drive by the building that my husband was killed in as per my story line everyone points and says that’s where Tommy/ dad was killed. I find this funny that they feel they need to tell me this each time we pass by. I know I killed him there but remember there is a twist after all it is fiction and you can have your cake and eat it too if you write fiction.
Man I love being a writer.

My Spiritual Advisor Said I have Free Will

On our little trip to The Ranch Elizabeth brought up a good question she asked if we were more racist or sexist. Kinky replied both. I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to ruin the visit by getting up on my soap box. The truth is we are Americans we are just a bunch of assholes that think we were better than everyone. Hey it just comes with the territory. Now the news is teaming with people spouting off about Obama’s Spiritual Advisor and his racially charged sermons I guess a more recent one where he says God Damn America. I admit some of the things he preaches is a bit far fetched i.e. aids being planted in the black community by the government but you have to take this for what it is a sermon. I admit I do not support Obama I feel he would make a better cult leader than a president I have voiced this many times and irked a few people but hey it is my opinion and I have the right to my opinion and I have the right by the constitution to voice that opinion. This is one of the great things about America we have rights. The problem is sometimes we get carried away with theses rights and take things a bit too far.

The media has a great way of blowing things out of proportion. I repeat the
Clinton /Lewenski thing was blown out of proportion. That was a private matter that was dragged into our lives thanks to the media. I really don’t care if the man got lucky. Hell I think he’s quite the handsome man and if he wasn’t married I believe I would love to slide up to him sometime. I’d even bring my own cigar.

I’m tired of seeing all kinds of negative things about politicians in the news. They are human beings capable of screwing up no one is perfect. I don’t care who is sending who emails of a sexual nature. That is their business. If one or the other doesn’t like it then they need to take the steps to stop it. This has no place in the media. Who cares I don’t and if you do then maybe you need to get a life.

The religion thing is just that a religion thing. We all have our beliefs and if you want to follow blindly behind someone and become a legion to this charismatic person then go for it. I myself want to be a free thinker and follow what I feel is right for me after all I am the one that has to pay for the things I do in this life. There is no line in the next life that says I screwed up because I listened to someone else. No ma’am you pay for your deeds and no one else. You are held responsible and have to repeat the lessons that you do not learn. As the Christians like to say you burn in hell for your sins and no one else’s. I myself do not believe in the Heaven and Hell thing I believe that was invented by the church to keep us in line. It doesn’t matter because we all have free will and if we do something wrong it is because we chose to do it and that is that plain and simple. Believe me I am no angel I have done plenty in my life that I should not have done but in doing so no one ever got hurt and I have never said I was forced into it. I admitted that I was at fault. I would not want you to think badly of me because I happened to go to a church that the minister or preacher had an opinion that seemed out there. Hell just because you have a spiritual advisor doesn’t mean you follow blindly. Don’t get me wrong I still believe Obama would make a better cult leader than a president because people seem to follow him blindly because he is charismatic. I guess I am immune because I really don’t like the guy I don’t care what Oprah says. Actually I don’t like any of the candidates but I will vote for Hillary and if she doesn’t get the nomination then I will vote for McCain. I don’t follow political party lines. I just vote for the person I think will do the best job. I like Hillary and think she could do a great job as President and it is not because she is a woman it is because of all the things that she has done in her life before. I like McCain for being a strong man and have seen him cross party lines before. Frankly I think we need to get rid of the two party system.

I guess the whole purpose of this blog is to say stop listening to all the bunk the media is throwing at us and think for your self. Look at the facts and weight them closely. We are a country of free thinkers but most of us seem to take the easy way and slide in behind someone and follow. Stand up for yourself and quit being Joe Blows whipping boy. Get a life and turn that television off. Read a book for god sake or better yet write a book, write a letter, write a sentence just use your brain and quit following. We all have brains we need to use them. Stop letting your surroundings define you. Don’t let your illness define you. Look in the mirror and say Thank You because I know there is something in your life worth saying thank you for. If you want to figure out who you are and where you are going do me a favor and read THE SECRET. I tell you it will make a great change in you it did for me. Once enough of us tune out the media they will see that they have to change. There will be no more sensationalism there will be less bad news and more positive things being reported. The people feed them so we can change them. Don’t get me wrong we do need to have then news so we know what is going on in the world but you can not believe everything they say. They claim to be bias but you know they all have their own agenda no one is truly bias. We all lean one way or the other because it is not wise to sit on a barbed wire fence those barbs cut deep. It is okay to jump from one side to the other because it is okay to change your mind. Remember free will.

Should I ?

As I was visiting my newborn Grandson Jamie at the hospital my cute little pink cell phone rang. I answered it to be surprised that it was someone from HEB. The nice lady wanted to do a telephone interview and offer me a chance to interview for a position at a local HEB as a demonstrator. They offered me the same pay as Wal-Mart plus more hours. I set up a group interview for Saturday at three and then thanked the nice lady for calling me after all it had been awhile since I had applied. I guess Wal-Mart had played it's role in my growth so I had taken a leave of absence to be with my daughter and grandchild so I guess I am open to new opportunities. I was planning on looking for a job where I could have weekends off and had bought some dress clothes to apply for clerical positions. I guess I will go to this interview tomorrow and leave it all up to the universe because I have a great future and the universe is busy aligning itself for me. I had even found a ward clerk position at Sid Petterson Hospital in Kerrville that had interested me I would just have to find a place to live.
Elizabeth wants me to learn Quickbooks so I can get a good paying position no matter where I live. I just know that I have asked the universe to help me get to the hill country to find a job and a place for me and my two BT's to live. Maybe I can get close enough where I can be a volunteer at Utopia then I can feel like I am really making a difference. I love donating but I would be happier volunteering my time. Right now life looks so promising and I see great things coming my way. WOOO WHOOOO! Thinking good thoughts and watching them come true. Now that is a high no drug can touch.

Habits Formed Waiting for Baby Bump

The labor progressed slowly and we sat there keeping my daughter company. When everyone else walked outside to smoke away the nerves I stayed at her side. Once I missed one meal I decided to slip out of the room while the nurse was checking the progress of the baby's decent. I grabbed a couple packages of graham crackers and a cup of peanut butter. When we got to the twelve hour mark and Kikki had her epidural I started doing something I never thought I would do..... drinking coffee. Okay here is the deal black coffee is a bit much so I added a little sugar. I enjoyed the sweet bitter flavor then I tried milk. After experimenting a bit I discovered after cup number four I liked the french vanilla creamer. Then I realized four cups of coffee makes you forget you are tired but you need to pee.

Buzzing from the caffeine high I started a betting pool. As she reached seven centimeters I altered from working on my next book and writing this blog on my pretty purple pad. Once I finished cup number five Kikki cut me off. She told everyone in the room to not let me have any more coffee. The trouble with chipper people is caffeine makes them unbearable especially when you are confined to a small room at least that is what my daughter told me everyone else was enjoying my little show.

After bouncing off the walls a little while I decided maybe she was right I should stop at two cups of Java. Remembering what it was like to have your first baby I felt bad for my daughter as she approached hour fifteen. I know she was tired of being poked , prodded and repositioned because baby bump was unhappy with the whole birthing process.

Then I cam up with the bright idea of giving each of the grandparents names. The paternal grandfather the 2ND wanted to be called pa hoe and his wife me mo. (I didn't know at the time that pa hoe was actually pot hole from a drunken stupor) The paternal grandmother wanted to be memaw. Now it was our turn so the maternal grandfather was peepaw and I of course am Babicka which is grandma in Czech. I had to pass my heritage along as much as possible. With that settled I had to find something else to occupy my racing mind as I waited for baby bump to become James Murray Weis IV or quarto.

When the nurse came in and ask me to hold my daughters leg and help her push them I was jazzed as the pushing began. After a few sets of pushing her leg up into her chest it was time for the doctor to come in and begin the delivery process. I watched fascinated and took it all in in case I need to deliver a baby in the future. I may not be a doctor but I play one on television. I was amazed at the whole process of having a baby and could not believe how the head expands once it is out of the birth canal. James cut the umbilical cord and baby Jamie was handed to his mom while the doctor made quick work of the last process of the afterbirth and the umbilical cord. Of course I lost interest in that part as I oohed and ahhhed at my new grandson that was actually purple. He was given oxygen and he turned pink. Now that was amazing.

Now that I am Babicka I drink coffee and I have a darling little boy to spoil the shit out of. HEHEHEHEHE pay back Kikki its payback.

Well my weekend trip was a blasty blast. We started out early Saturday morning as we loaded up Josh and Elizabeth's Mini Cooper then headed out. The drive was great we had fun conversations and enjoyed the scenery then stopped off at Buckee's and grabbed a snack before heading on to the San Antonio Raceway. It was crowded and the races were fun. We were surprised at the number of Fox body Mustangs there. Let me just say I loved the Jet car. I think I enjoyed the people watching about as much as the races. There was a certain cowboy with a back view that made this cowgirl’s heart skip a beat. I'd love to have a pair of wranglers filled like that to grab onto.
After the races we went to the hotel to check in then we headed off to see Elizabeth's family. We stayed a little while then decided to head back to the hotel and get some sleep so we could be fresh for the next day. Poor Josh was sun burned. Josh and Elizabeth watched some TV while I put my headphones on and listened to my Zune.
We jumped up Sunday morning realizing we had already lost an hour because of the time change and showered then dressed to head over to see Elizabeth’s grandparents. We had a nice visit while we ate breakfast and I fell in love with her grandmother, she is so cute you just want to hug her. Then once we left there it was off to the little Japanese store to buy some supplies then out of San Antonio on 16 toward Medina and the Rescue Ranch. Let me tell you this, the farther we got away from San Antonio the prettier the scenery.
Of course we had to stop off at the Old Timer to grab chips and a drink and to get the feel of a small town gathering spot. Then it was off to the Rescue Ranch. Josh loved the curves and the hilly drive a bit much in his Mini Cooper. I can say one thing that little car can hug the road. Once we turned off Wallace Creek Road on to Echo Hill I began to realize that I was almost there and about to meet one on my favorite online people Cousin Nancy. When we pulled into the long drive Tony was there and said Nancy is up at the house go on up. Then Nancy came out of the gate as I was climbing out of the back seat of the Mini Cooper. It was like seeing family that you haven’t seen in years. We chatted
"I have a surprise for you Cindy." Nancy says with a sweet smile.
I thought oh, oh what now.
That was when she said”Kinky didn't get to go to Hawaii and he was home and we were going over to the lodge to see him."
"Crap" I had thought I would get to enjoy a visit with out a distraction.

Well it didn’t matter we went inside where she gave me the children’s book John Kemmerly had written Velma the Vomiting Vulture. He had signed it to my about to be born Grandson Jamie. I was so thrilled to get the book and was chomping at the bit to read it. (I read it the first thing this morning and I loved it.) After a couple pictures we headed out side to look around and meet a few of the rescues before Tony slid into the mini with Josh and Elizabeth and I climbed in their 4 wheeler Kermit to see Kinky after a short tour of the ranch. The place was beautiful even though it is winter and the trees are bare except for the evergreens and the grass was dead from the freezes. I loved the view of the big hills.

When we pulled up to Kinky’s lodge he was standing out by the gate waiting for us.

“Hello Kinky I thought you’d be in Hawaii enjoying the sun about now” I offered as I walked through the gate as he opened it and invited us all in.
“Me too” he grumbled as we walked past.
You can’t blame the man I could imagine a warm beach would have been better than the chilly breeze that blew on that day.
As we walked through the door and into his small kitchen we said hello to Goat his old friend and street preacher cooking pork chops for their meal. He then handed Kinky the phone as we all walked through into the main room to see all the great art work and pictures that graced the walls. The room was filled with the same furniture that his parents had in there from the fifties with one exception a pool table. Kinky grabbed a pool stick and said who’s playing pool? It was decided that Kinky (The Humming bird man) would play Tony (The Medina Bulldog) and Josh (The Spring Chicken) would play the winner. In the end the score was Kinky-0, The Medina Bulldog-1 and The Spring Chicken-1
While the last game was being played Nancy, Elizabeth and I went out in the back yard to see the Friedman Bone Orchard. Mr. Magoo was giving me a lot of attention so I made sure he knew it was appreciated and returned it with hugs and scratches. When Nancy said lets get some pictures Kinky went inside to get his hat and I mentioned I hated taking pictures because I don’t like my reflection. I guess no one looks quite what they want to look like.
After a few snap shots we bid our farewells and headed back to the Rescue Ranch so Kinky could attend to the pork chops. I enjoyed meeting his kids the Friedmans Chumley, Magoo, Brownie and Perkey. You could tell they were spoiled because they were all a bit on the chubby side.
Back at the Rescue Ranch we toured a couple more pens before going into Nancy’s writing cabin to sit down and have a chat. I don’t know how long we stayed all together but I hated to leave but knew we had a long drive ahead of us. We bid our farewells and Josh told Nancy and Tony that they were going to National in about a month and they would drag me along and we could come back by for another visit.

The drive home was more spectacular as he climbed one pass after another to get out of the little valley. Kerrville had grown a lot since my last visit 30 years ago. I still feel like the Hill Country is my true home so I am going to have to start working a little harder to find my job and place to move to so I can be home again.

Thank you to my friends

Thank you all for your words of encourgement. I am trying to look at things in a positive way but Mickey was my heart and soul. I am having problems sleeping because I am so used to Mickey being there to hold on to. I woke last night and reached over to hug him and he wasn't there. Domino was curled up by my head with is sweet face next to mine but all I could do was cry because I did not have Mickey to hold on to. The other Bostons know I am struggling and each of them has tried to curl up in Mickey's spot but it's not the same. The last two nights I have even had a little red wiener dog curl up next to me trying to make me feel better. Mater has started to bond with me and I do love that sweet face but I know this will take time. My son and his wife had planned to take me to San Antonio this weekend then over to The Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch so I could meet Nancy Parker Simons the sweet woman that runs the rescue ranch in Medina, Texas but now I don't know if I'm up to the trip. My youngest son said they were afraid this would happen when Mickey crossed the bridge. They were afraid I would give up on my quest.
As I write this I realize that hurting is a process of loss and with it we grow. Kinky Friedman invited me up to the ranch so I could see the good works they were doing and I know I told him I would come, so since he has been so good to me with my book I will go this weekend and make a nice donation in Mickey's memory. I will take this sorrow that I feel in my heart and draw strength from the love that Mickey and I shared. He was my constant shadow the strength that I drew on and just because he is not here in body dosn't mean I can waver. I will finish the book that I started to write in Mickey's voice on how to train your human and dedicate it in his memory. Thank you again for your kind words for from them I will draw strength. I have a great future and it was Mickey's love that made me the person that I am today. Our human heart can never measure up to the love that is given to us by our pets. It is a perfection of love in a form we will never truly be able to understand. I love you Mickey and miss your warm little body but I know you are still here with me because I feel your little paws on my heart and I feel your breath in my soul.

Love
Cindy Lou Ruffino

I Just Lost My Best Friend

Tonight we had to take my best friend to the emergency vet because we could no longer manage his pain. Mickey D has been my friend for thirteen and a half years. I am a better person for having Mickey in my life and he has been there for me on many occasions. I sit here with my heart broken trying to hold on to the memories but it's hard not having that warm fur covered body to hug and make me feel better. I love you Mickey and I'm sorry I could not have done more for you. Please wait for me by that Rainbow Bridge and I promise I will look for you when it is my turn to cross. Thank you for being my friend and thank you for your undying love and devotion. I think the hardest part was hearing you call out Momma just before you took that last breath. I'm so sorry if I have failed you bubba but I am only human and we can never live up to the love that is in the heart of a pet for that is a love that is perfect. The tears roll down my face because I am sad that we can no longer go fishing together, you will not be at my side in the morning when I wake and you will not be by my feet as I sit at the computer and write. I love you bubba. Goodnight.

My Dog - Here in this house

This was in my email today. I just wanted to share.

My Dog - Here in This House

I will never know the loneliness I hear in the barks of the other dogs 'out there.'
I can sleep soundly, assured that when I wake my world will not have changed.
I will never know hunger, or the fear of not knowing if I'll eat.
I will not shiver in the cold, or grow weary from the heat.
I will feel the sun's heat, and the rain's coolness, and be allowed to smell all that can reach my nose.
My fur will shine, and never be dirty or matted.
Here in this house...
There will be an effort to communicate with me on my level.
I will be talked to and, even if I don't understand,
I can enjoy the warmth of the words.
I will be given a name so that I may know who I am among many.
My name will be used in joy, and I will love the sound of it!
Here in this house...
I will never be a substitute for anything I am not.
I will never be used to improve peoples' images of them selves.
I will be loved because I am who I am, not someone's idea of who I should be.
I will never suffer for someone's anger, impatience, or stupidity.
I will be taught all the things I need to know to be loved by all.
If I do not learn my lessons well, they will look to my teacher for blame.
Here in this house...
I can trust arms that hold, hands that touch... knowing that, no matter what they do, they do it for the good of me.
If I am ill, I will be doctored.
If scared, I will be calmed.
If sad, I will be cheered.
No matter what I look like, I will be considered beautiful and thought to be of value.
I will never be cast out because I am too old, too ill, too unruly, or not cute enough.
My life is a responsibility, and not an afterthought.
I will learn that humans can almost, sometimes, be as kind and as fair as dogs.
Here in this house...
I will belong.
I will be home.

In the Still of the night

Well as I sit here there is still no baby bump. The baby watch thing has started to wear a bit thin on me but tomorrow Kikki has a doctor’s appointment and we will find out then what the doctor has decided to do. Hopefully there will be a grand baby here soon. I have also made another big decision in my life I am changing jobs. I have grown weary of the drama that I have been thrust in at work so I have began looking for a position better suited to me. For some reason I take these jobs that are below my talents because I feel I have to be employed and take the first thing that comes in then I get comfortable and stay until I get burned out. With the new store opening soon the management at the store I am working seems to have lost their mind and have began to take it out on the underlings whom are freaking out on their own. It is hard enough to deal with incensed customers that are mad because the store is half empty. I had to calm the nerves of several screaming customers yesterday. I'm sorry but I am not a superwoman.After considering the new job thing I decided that since we were heading up to the Hill Country this coming weekend I will use this trip to scope out the area and look for employment and housing there. This will give me the distance I need from the flip flopping soon to be x so I can start my life as the independent woman I know I am. Of course this upsets the children but please get over it you are all grown and momma wants a life of her own. All I can say look out Hill Country I'm on my way. I can't think of a better place to spend the rest of my life.