Great Things To Come

I have so much to look forward to in the upcoming days and weeks. First off baby Bump should be coming into this world any day now so I will get to see my first Grandson. Kikki still hasn't decided on a name so I guess he will be nicknamed Bump.
Then next weekend Justin, Sheena, Josh, Elizabeth and I will be off on our little trip to San Antonio and the races on Saturday then Josh and Elizabeth will take me to meet Cousin Nancy at the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch on Sunday. I chatted with Nancy the other day about the visit and she said she was excited to finally meet me but Kinky was going to be out of town. I didn't tell her it might be for the best because Kinky would be a big distraction for me. LOL
She told me that Kinky had said he was impressed with me which I was not sure how to take. I am very impressed with him and do not hesitate to say it. He is a very nice man and I am in awe of his accomplishments. I am so thrilled to meet Nancy and the others at the rescue ranch. They are all angels in my eyes.
Last but not least I had an email from the Publish America yesterday telling me that my paper contract will be in the mail and I should be receiving it with in two weeks. Once the paper contract is signed and returned we will start the editing process. This brings me one step closer to being a published author.
The best news of all is Tommy has finally realized that I am gone and has started to move on with his life. That is the best news of all. Now all I need to do is get him to share in the cost of the divorce so we can get this thing over with so we can both move on to our futures.
Thank You Universe this shows that Thoughts become things so think only good ones.

Polly wants arrgghh

Working Customer Service has been an experience for me. The other associates seem to enjoy my antics and I seem to calm the angry customers with my charm. Today someone brought back one of those FurReal animated talking parrots because he had been having issues since Christmas. I made sure that I wrote the bird was having seizures on the claims ticket so the person in charge of logging in all the claims could have a laugh. I wanted to make sure he stayed attached to his perch so I applied packing tape to his feet then wrapped it around the perch.
As I was doing this the bird ask
"What cha doing?"

"Taping you to your perch so it doesn't get lost." I replied

"I'm hungry" He replied so I stuck my finger in his mouth so he could chew imitating being fed.

As I worked to secure him to the perch and secure the claims ticket to his chest I continued to talk to him. Deeply engrossed in the task I did not notice the other associates watching me converse with the mechanical parrot. Once I was through I carried him over to the claims cart as he was having a seizure. The CSM walked by and asked if I was going to miss my new friend. I looked up and answered yes I will be lonely with no one to talk to. She laughed and walked off.
This was not a big thing for me I am used to entertaining my coworkers I have done so at many jobs. I look at life as one funny thing after another and frankly I enjoy working at Wal-Mart because there is always something happening somewhere in the store.
A fellow associate informed me today that I should do a stand up act because I was entertaining. I replied no I don't do stand up I just do real life so maybe Wal-Mart should package me up and sell me like the Fur Real Pets.

I chatted with a British lady as I worked on the Money Gram she was sending to her son. We talked about her wanting to become a citizen but always found something more interesting to spend the money on. Now she was ready to become a citizen because she felt America was her country and she wanted a voice. I told her I did too so I thought of running for office but the pay was not enough for the headache so I would stay at Wal-Mart. We laughed and joked about all types of things including men and what we wanted in a beau. We agreed to shop for each other but then she said hey if I find one that you will like I might just keep him for myself because a man like that might be fun. My reply "He'd be hell on wheels" Laughing she walked off and said that's just what I need.
I guess that means I will have to shop for my own man. Then as my night ended I walked out to my truck to find a little note attached to my windshield wipers. "If you are interested in selling your truck please call........
Well I don't know what to make of that.

Never make plans

As I have posted here before my daughter Kikki will be having her first child soon. I have lovingly called him whathisname because she had not made up her mind what to call him. Today I started calling him BUMP because that is what he resembles there on her skinny body. At first I did not remember where I had heard that name before then I remembered that I had heard it from Terms of Endearment by one of my favorite authors Larry Mac Murtry. Today was Kikki's weekly doctors appointment and the doctor voiced his concern that the baby seems to be not growing anymore and it may be time to induce but he wanted an ultrasound first. Tomorrow afternoon her father will take her because I am scheduled to work and can not miss right now because we are short staffed since the majority of the work force is busy loading the new store. The doctor said that if he did not induce by her next appointment next Wednesday then he would wait and let him come on his own which means
I will have to cancel my plans to go to San Antonio on March 8Th and 9Th which pissed my son's off because they had made these plans months ago.
Then my son Josh said "No you are going to San Antonio and I am taking you to Utopia Rescue Ranch on the 9Th"
"Josh I haven't even talked to Cousin Nancy to see if it is okay to come by on a Sunday" I begged as I took a couple deep breaths to try and relax from the stress of being pulled in too many directions.
This is why I don't like to make plans too far in advance.
Well we will all keep a close eye on Kikki this week and she will go to her visit on Wednesday and Bump will be born on Wednesday February 27Th or Thursday February 28Th that way I will be going to San Antonio on March the 8TH and to Kerrville March 9TH. Now go to it Universe and align it so I can be at peace again. LOL

When is it time to say goodbye?

Mickey has been my best friend for over thirteen years and I am grateful that he has been in my life. We have lots of happy memories and good times to look back at and smile. I snuggle with him at night and enjoy the warmth of his fur covered body. Lately Mickey has been going down hill fast. He has lost weight, his hearing has diminished and his eye sight is failing yet he sits by my feet as I write this blog because that is what your best friend does. I have been devoted to him as well as he has been devoted to me. A year and a half ago he was bitten several times by a copperhead and since then he has not been the same.

Each day I have to face the possibility that I may loose him and I worry that it will happen when I am not home to say goodbye. Lately he will fall over for no reason and he sits cries and whimpers. The Vet gave him pain pills but I don't know if they improve the quality of his life. The big question is am I holding on to him for my sake which is not improving the quality of his life? I don't want to be the bad guy here I don't want to have him put to sleep to ease my conscience. I have been told it is my decision but that has to be the hardest decision in the world to make. Mickey can't look me in the eyes and say "Momma I hurt and I'm tired let me go."

I don't know what to do and I hurt seeing him suffer but he is so happy when I am home to cuddle him in my arms. He lies at my side at night and sighs just as I pull him close to kiss him goodnight. Everyone around me tells me that it is time to let him go but I am not sure myself.

I wish there was a way for him to tell me what he wants because I owe him my life he has been there for me and has given me a reason to go on in more than one instance.

I love you Mickey please help momma know what to do.

I love you and Goodbye

We had a chance to see what it would be like to be as one. I did not like the result
We had a life that slowly grew apart. You refused to grow.
We had a family and great kids to boot. You refused to contribute.
We had a home and I worked hard to keep it happy. You brought home anger and resentment.
We had a friendship. You would not allow me to have friends other than you.

No matter how hard I tried I now realize that one can not make a couple, one can not work as two, one can not make a team, and to be the only one to sacrifice makes you the sacrifice.
Now that we are no longer together I am happier.
Now that we are no longer together I have hope.
Now that we are no longer together I am free.
Now that we are no longer together I am productive.
Now that we are no longer together I see a future brighter than any I have ever dreamed possible because there is no one to hold me back and tell me that I can not do it.
There is no one to drag me down because they are afraid to leave their comfort zone and try something new.
Now that we are no longer together I have friends.

Thank you for the years.
Thank you for the tears.
Thank you for the pain.
Thank you for the smiles.
Thank you for the miles.
Thank you for the children.
Thank you for the lessons I had to learn.
But most of all thank you for letting me go.

NOW GOODBYE!

This was posted to my inbox from my son's girlfriend Sheena. It was too good not to share.

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail .
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.And they were comforted.And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration.
Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are.
The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased . . . . . . .
And Dog was happy. . . . .
And Cat didn't give a shit one way or other....

Happy Valentines Day to you!

Happy Valentines Day!

Valentines Day is a day fueled by the greeting card companies, the candy industry and restaurants. Today is also my daughters 26th birthday. Happy Birthday Kikki! I have watched over the years happy couples treating one another on this special day and I admit to being jealous since my husband has never been romantic or has ever remembered to do anything nice for me for any special day. I always looked over this because I really didn’t see the point. I always believed loving someone was not about the gifts you receive but about the sacrifices in your everyday life.

On a day to day basis one of my children will ask me “Mom how much do you love me?” usually when there is something they want me to do for them or something they want me to buy. My answer is usually “More than I can express in words or money.” My daughter Kikki is the biggest one to pop this on me because she seems to be the one that ask more of me than the boys because she lives with her boyfriend and not under the same roof as I do.

I have tried to explain to the young people in my life that love can not be measured by how much money you spend on one another love is the little sacrifices you make on a daily basis. I have watched over the past week as they have bought one another little gifts to commemorate their love for one another but have not said much about it. I just see the consumer driven industry at work pushing the idea that you must but teddy bears, chocolates and heart themed gifts for someone to show them you love them.

My gift to my loved ones this Valentines Day is this blog. I hope to instill in all of you the true meaning of love and it is not hearts, flowers and candies.

What is Love?

Love is the little sacrifices we make for someone that means the world to us.

Love is wearing underwear with holes in them and broken elastic because you spent all your available money to buy new underwear for your children so they could look good while in school.

Love is doing with out lunch so that your children can have that extra treat when they come in from school.

Love is not eating your customary bowl of cereal for breakfast because there is only enough milk for your spouse’s coffee.

Love is standing in the hospital corridor and holding your spouse’s hand and rubbing their arm trying to comfort them as they wait to hear about an ailing parent.

Love is holding them in your arms and crying along with them as they say goodbye to that parent.

Love is putting your life on hold so you can be home when your children get out of school each day.

Love is finding a way with a small income to give your family a good meal, a warm home, and clean clothes while forgetting yourself because there is never enough to go around.

Love is leaving little notes saying I’m thinking of you.

Love is that extra cookie in the lunch box.

Love is staying up all night finishing that project that you child forgot is due the next day so your child can get a good nights rest.

Love is the sacrifices you make everyday, in every way, at each turn with each beat of your heart. Love is the tears you shed when your loved one is in pain. Love is holding their hand and giving them your strength when you need it yourself. Love is just being there when you are needed no matter how many miles that separates you. Love is the warmth you feel on a sunny day bottled up and given to those you love when it is cold and dreary. Love is listening to them bitch and complain then giving them a reassuring smile.

Just remember love is not buying candies and flowers or little trinkets with hearts and roses on them love is the little actions that make a difference on a daily basis. It would take me days if not months and endless blogs to give you little examples of what love is.

Love is trying to show those that you love that there is always a way and always a chance so think positive and believe.

I love you all and may your day of love be filled with those little sacrifices from those that love you.

And the research begins

I was fortunate enough to be thrown into the position of Service Desk clerk for three weeks. I guess you could say it is baptism by fire because I had all of one hour watching someone do it then I was placed in the position. Today was my first full day and I must say I enjoyed it but I hated the money grams. I did get to interact with a bunch of new associates that were thrilled to ask me every question imaginable about my novel and Kinky. I explained I rarely talk to him and no, he doesn’t know I am starting a new project because I want to do research first.
These conversations take place in-between customers and sometimes the customers join in.
All I can say is Kinky better run for governor because I have put in a lot of time campaigning for him. The people that I have discussed the book idea with thinks it's brilliant and have encouraged me to write up a proposal then pitch my idea to the next governor.
Elizabeth and I went to the gym early this morning before work and as we sat in the sauna Elizabeth asked me about the new idea and I told her I would start the research tonight after work. A woman sitting across the hot box asked what I was working on so I explained my idea to her. She was impressed and said that I was right about the interest on the subject and she felt the book would be read by a large audience because it would cover high school/ college age over into all adults. Once I saw her point I agreed thus giving me more momentum to do the book. Then we found out that the lady was herself an author and was currently working on a grammar book.
Now that I have so many people interested in the book I have to do it.With the new position as service desk clerk I am guaranteed forty hours and a shift of 11am to 8pm with Wednesday and Thursday off for three weeks until the new store opens. I will use this time to work on my research and prepare for that moment when I face Mr. Friedman and pitch my idea to him.
I will just keep busy as the universe aligns itself for me.

Keeping positive

Keeping positive Maybe it was something to do with the new moon or possibly the low tide or just the fact that it is hard to stay positive twenty four seven when you have negative people surrounding you. I have been off work for a few days thanks to an inner ear infection so I have been stuck between the four walls with a constant barrage of negative comments from all sides.

Elizabeth keeps telling me to be positive and believe me I try.I had a great idea for another book the other night so I wrote it down and I think I will pitch the idea to my favorite gubernatorial candidate to see what he thinks. I will just need to apply for a grant or loan or something to cover my living expenses for two years while I write and compile the information for the book.

In the dream I was telling him about my book idea and I told him if you steal my ideal I will hunt you down and kick your ass. He smiled and I said okay if you smile at me like that I probably couldn't kick your ass but I will definitely hunt you down.

I told my boys about the idea but I think they are tired of me and my ideas so they just blew me off. Kikki said that it was a great idea but it would probably drive one of us crazy before the two years were up but she would love to be my assistant if I decided to do the book and Kinky agreed.

I told her it would be more likely a year and a half and my money was on Kinky being the sane one in the end because I was possibly insane already.

For obvious reasons I am not mentioning the book idea here because it is so great someone is sure to steal it from me. Now I need to come up with a great pitch and presentation to sell my idea to the right people.
I guess this means I will be busy working on a plan to make my latest dream come true. Hey I won’t have time to think negative thoughts or let others negativity bring me down.
If all goes well I will be busy starting this summer all the way up until mid to late November 2010. WOOO WHOOO!!!!
What am I saying I will definitely be busy working on my next project!

New web site for me

After submitting my novel to the publisher I was advised to make a web site for the book or myself. I humhawed around a few days but decided yesterday I should just bite the bullet and make a web site. I didn't realize what a headache it could be. First you have to figure out exactly what you want on the web site then you have to screw around with html codes. After a couple hours I decided to just use the templates the server had. If I had done that to begin with maybe I would not have had to take the aspirin for the headache I gained by trying to do it the hard way but if you know me you know I'm stubborn and want to do things my way. It didn't help that Justin kept interrupting me needing to open web pages for this and that then Josh came in needing to open web pages for that and this. Frustration set in so I opted for the templates. The end results can be seen here. http://cindylouruffino.com

My Lone Star Style

What's Your Lone Star Style?

My Result: Sweet Nature

Aw, how darlin'! A Southern sweetie like you will always feel at home in Texas. Whether your style is more small town, big town, or uptown, a down-to-Earth person like you has a natural knack for meeting new people wherever you go. You probably come home from every vacation with at least a few new friends and even more memories.


Known for putting others ahead of yourself, it's no doubt you'd fit right in with a place that's known for its friendly people and unbeatable hospitality. When you're as inquisitive and kind as you, it's second nature to strike up conversations with strangers and make yourself at home no matter where you go. Now that's easy livin'!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/rd/50651/tests/lonestarstyle/index.jsp?testname=lonestarstyleogt&resultid=A

Whats in an age? I glow no matter what.

I still haven't figured out why we look at people differently as they age. I mull this over quite a bit because I notice even myself I treat people differently by age. Don't get me wrong I am in no way disrespectful to anyone I just tend to treat the older seniors with much more respect and look at them tenderly as they make their way through Wal-Mart. I am kinder to the older gentlemen but I do still flirt a little with them to get them to laugh because laughter makes you live longer. The ladies I enjoy talking to and tend to chat a little longer with the older ones. Sunday as I worked the express check out I met a delightful older woman in her eighties that just bubbled over when she read my name tag.
"Cindy Lou now where did you get a name like that?" She questioned as I rang up her purchases.
"Well actually my mother had two favorite aunts so I have two middle names Lou and Emma but the Cindy part was from Cinderella" I explained before adding "I have been Cindy Lou forever."
"Now that is a real Texan name you have there young lady." She offered as she looked me over.
"Thank you I'm proud to be a native Texan." I offered as I placed her bags in her cart.
We stood there chatting for awhile since the store was nearly dead thanks to the Superbowl. We talked about children and pets then shared pictures on our phones of our pets but not the children which I thought was funny.
She told me of her late husband and how he was a greeter at this store before he died and said she would be back in regularly to check up on me. I found this heart warming and told her I would be looking for her.
I love the seniors and all their wisdom.
Earlier in the day I was talking to one of the other cashiers about Grand children and laughed when she said that she loved her grand children but her daughter had ruined her grand daughter because she had no discipline. I explained that was exactly why I was running away I was afraid that I was going to become a dumping ground for problems. I explained that I had raised my children, they were all adults and responsible for themselves and I was tired of being held down by a mean controlling man so I was off the first chance I got.

She laughed and said your young go and enjoy your life.We discussed my book and how I was going to have the lions share of promoting it so I was practicing being aggressive so I could get it in book stores and get book signing engagements.

"Cindy Lou you look like you’re a fun girl." She exclaimed"Well I can be I guess because I do have a bit of a wild streak in me somewhere."
"You have a youthful appearance but the wisdom of a woman your age your lucky so get out there and give em hell." She advised before going back to her register.
"Thank you Louise I'll do just that if I can get these damn young uns to leave me alone." I offered as we both went back to work.
The conversation stuck with me most of the day.I get a kick out of women that don't believe me when I tell them my age. I explain it has nothing to do with how long you have been in this world it has everything to do with how you feel and how you live. If you feel old and live like your old then you’re going to look old.
A customer asked me today about how I looked so young and I told her I feel young because I hang out with my kids and their friends and they are all in their twenties. I would love to have people my own age to hang out with but they are all either married or not interested in going out to do things. Then I told her the reason I was glowing was because I was in the process of having a book published and I was excited.
She became so excited she shrieked "I can't believe it I'm meeting a celebrity."
"Hardly" I answered then wrote down the name of my book and my name for her because she was going to look for the first book signing.
Her two little daughters said mom I want to read her book. I must say it felt good to be a star in their eyes.
I am getting accustomed to people being surprised that their cashier is an author and I had written a murder mystery and not a romance novel.
One gentleman asked if I planned on writing more, my answer about fifty or so; he laughed, I was serious.
It's funny some days I get compliments on my long shinny hair and others I get compliments on other feature but the one thing that stands out the most is my name.
Everyone loves Cindy Lou.
I have had fellow associates come up to me and start up a conversation to ask me about my book because they had heard it from someone else. Today one of the department managers came up to tell me he had a dream that could possibly be my next book and said we need to sit down sometime so he could tell me. When I told him the publisher had sent me the contract for the first book he grabbed me and gave me a bear hug. I found this a bit funny.
Now when associates see me with my little orange folder or see me scribbling on my note pad they give me the thumbs up. Maybe I'm starting to enjoy the attention because for so long I was just a bump on the log but now I am a flower blooming on a pile of manure.
That's what writing fiction amounts to making up a bunch of shit to entertain the masses.
Wow I love it.

Contract in Hand

Wednesday morning I decided to check my email before heading off to my shift at Wal-Mart. As I read through the junk and deleted a majority of the email before opening I saw acquisitions at Publish America not once but twice so I clicked on the first one to find a contract so I clicked on the second one and found the acceptance letter for my book. I was so excited I jumped up and down then proceeded to run through the house and wake up the slumbering young adults to tell them the news. After rousting everyone from their dream state I came back to the computer and printed up the contract to go over during my lunch break at work. It was time to leave but before I left I emailed Sheena at work to tell her the good news then sent an email to my brother and sister plus a couple friends that have been encouraging me to follow my dreams. Before I left the neighborhood I stopped off at my daughter Kikki's to tell her the good news and ended up rousting her from her slumber also. I thought hey its 9am why can't I be in my warm bed dreaming too. Once I reached the first bridge I thought I should call Kinky and tell him the good news. Opening up the phone I thought no I don't want to bother him and closed it. By the time I reached the second bridge I had picked the phone back up and dialed the number. To my surprise he answered the phone. I figured I would get an answering machine and leave a message but no it was the Kinkster himself so I told him about the great news and he gave me a few pointers and asked a couple questions. I wanted to talk to him about a few other things but since Josh and Elizabeth are so long winded and we share minutes we are almost out of anytime minutes. I felt bad cutting the conversation short but I was nearly at work and did not want to endanger the extra charges on our phone bill. Before we said our goodbyes Kinky asked about Stewie again which I think is the sweetest thing ever. I love how he is so concerned about the little dog that he rescued. Now that is a true heart of a Texan to care about all living creatures. I'm glad that he is my inspiration.
Well the other news is I had to change the title of my book because someone else has a book with a similar title so now the title is OUT OF A TEXAS MIST plus one of my regular customers suggested I use Cindy Lou Ruffino as a pen name she said it sounds more Texan and is a memorable name. I am still on cloud nine.Yesterday I had another great thing happen. I took Kikki to the doctor and I saw Whatshisname for the first time on the ultrasound. He is a healthy good size baby even though she doesn’t look nearly eight months pregnant. With all this going on now you see why I haven't posted in a few days. I am still bouncing off the walls and have a million things I want to talk to Kinky about but I guess since it's time to head off to work they will have to wait and the walls of Wal-Mart will have to do their best to contain me today. At least I only work four hours today.