Today would have been my fathers birthday he would have been 84. This is always a hard day for me because I was a daddy's girl up until he died on June 14Th 1989. My dad was a great man he served in the Army during WWII in the Philippines as a mobile generator operator. I used to love sitting by him on the swing or glider and listen to his stories of his time in the war. I remember sitting there at times as he puffed away on a cigar someone had given him from work when they had a child. I remembered him telling me stories of times when he was younger and he and his brother hunting wild rabbit. I never heard my father say a curse word and the only thing that sounded even close was bass ackwards.
He was the one that instilled the love of Fords in me. He was the one that had me help him make repairs to our vehicles. I remember my job was to clean up the parts that he placed in a huge tub. I would sit there bent over this tub with a coffee can of var-sol and a wire brush and scrub off all the old gunk ed up oil. There was no job that he didn't include me in from rebuilding an engine to putting on a water pump he made sure I learned how to do it all. Maybe that's why I have always been such a tomboy. I have two brothers but for some reason my dad and I spent a lot of time together. He was an intelligent gentle man and it was his intelligence that drove me to be so curious about life and all the possibilities that it possesses. He never talked down to me and he encouraged me to learn about everything that interested me.
The thing that saddens me is the disappointment I saw in his eyes when I had made a bad choice in life. He never berated me for my bad choices he would just give me that look of disappointment and tell me I could have made a better choice.
I remember on my wedding day the look of sadness in his eyes. He was upset in my choice of husband but he knew I had to live my life so as he walked me down the isle his heart ached. I remember pausing at the chapel door before entering the church and my father asking me if I was sure if this was what I wanted. I didn't tell him then what was truly in my heart . I didn't tell him that I felt trapped and obligated to marry this guy. I didn't tell him then no Daddy I don't want to get married. I just allowed him to walk me down the isle both of us hurting but not telling the other until years later.
I'm sure if he were alive today he would tell me how proud he is of me for the changes I have made in the last six months. I'm sure he would encourage me to follow my heart and do what makes me happy. I'm sure he would tell me no one can make you happy you have to find the happiness yourself. I have always sought out my fathers approval because to me that was greater than winning the Nobel Peace Prize.
Today I salute you Daddy and I love you for the great person that you were and for the great influence you had on me. I love you and Happy Birthday. I miss you daddy and I will always be your Keyloulou.
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