Today I was off so my son Justin and I had a mother and son outing. He wanted to get a Sam's card so we headed over to Portifino which is a shopping center in the Woodlands that has a Sam's Club. As I pulled into the parking lot he suggested we stop off at the Vitamin Store so he could get some information on B-12 because he lacked energy. I told him to get the subliminal stuff because the body absorbs it faster so it works better. Once we were inside the clerk told him the same thing I had and led us over to the area where the B-12 was. He was shocked at the price but I explained you pay more for the good stuff. Then I asked about the antioxidants so she led us over to that section. As I was looking at the various bottles and trying to figure out if I even wanted to purchase the stuff my son asked about red and green algae. Thinking that he could just go down and lick a rock at the creek I didn't say anything but turned around to see that he and the nice clerk were gone. That was when I noticed a row of bottles that was labeled Horny Goat. I started to laugh at the name on the bottle then noticed on the shelf below there was a bottle of Horny Toad. I'm sorry but I found that equally funny. Picking up a bottle of the Horny Toad I read the back to learn that it was something to help men in the sexual department. My son walked back over and saw me laughing then took the bottle away from me and placed it back on the shelf.
"Mom you don't need a man they are nothing but a distraction and you have been doing so well."
"I was just reading the bottle Justin I thought it was funny."
"Mom!"
Then my son pointed out a bottle labeled Sexcite.
"That's a good name for it."
"Come on Mom lets look at the algae."
"Just go down to the creek and lick a rock."
"No mom there was something I watched on that show Dirty Jobs about how they made the stuff and it is supposed to be good for you."
We walked over to the algae area and a nice lady I guess closer to my age asked him what he was looking for so he explained to her the process they went through to make the stuff. She asked him to find out what the name of the product was or the company and she could help him find the stuff he wanted. Then she asked me if I had found what I was looking for so we began to discuss antioxidants. The next thing I knew I had spent $35 on a bottle of antioxidants, fish oil and some kind of protein water. I was told since I had lost weight and walked around constantly pulling up my pants that I needed more protein in my system. My son replied just get a boyfriend I'm sure you will get some protein. I laughed and reminded him that he had just said men were a distraction I didn't need and I didn't want to buy a bottle of horny anything. I don't think the nice lady knew what he meant about getting protein from a boyfriend so she did not get the joke.
Later that night I rode along with he and his girl Sheena to go shopping. I was telling Sheena about the bottles of Horny Goat and Horny Toad. I wondered out loud what would you call a product like that for women something to put them in the mood. Just as I was about to mention slinky kitty or something when Justin blurts out Wet Walrus. We all laughed but I explained I don't think a walrus would make a man think about sex.
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